What's in a name?

Me: Hi! Have we met? I am Sai.
Him: Abe Sai... Doon kya kaan ke neeche ek...

I've had enough of this and I can't even recall how many times I've got myself into soup this way. It's well established across all 2010 students that I am a retard when it comes to remembering names and faces. (I hope I am not classified as a retard in other areas). After a lot of effort, I think I can now barely recognize my study-group-mates. Forget about all the 579 students, I think it would be a great achievement for me if I can recall the names of everyone in my section.

Take a look at this interesting data for the class of 2010 - This analysis was inspired by my statistics pre-term course.

5 Abhinavs
11 Abhisheks
5 Adityas
9 Amits
12 Gauravs
6 Rahuls
6 Rohits
11 Saurabhs (including 1 Sorabh)
6 Swethas (and we have multiple spellings to deal with)
9 Viveks

These results are staggering and If I have my Stats concepts right, the mode of this population is ‘Gaurav’. Please note that I did not include many names that were shared by four people and less.

How do I deal with this? I’ve been mugging up the photo-directory of all students circulated to us yesterday. But I obviously didn’t get anywhere.

Is this some nasty joke played by all parents on this pour soul of mine? Parents go through a lot of effort in giving their children the best childhood they can provide. I am sure everybody agrees it involves creative thinking. Then why oh why did they cut-down on their creative juices when it’s time to name their precious kid? Why did they do this to me?

An advice to future parents though... name your kids one of the above, and the probability of them making it to ISB will be dramatically increased!

I intend to register for an “Independent study” to figure out the best way to remember 579 names. Is there anyone out there who wants to join me in this study?

No. I can’t recall your name…