ISB Class of Twenty Ten

Dil Bole AIKYA !!

2009-10-17T13:49:00.001+05:30

What is AIKYA? ISBians are 'adopted' by some prominent business families of Hyderabad.

My AIKYA family was Mr. Vinod Poddar - Chairman of the Poddar group of industries. We were about a dozen of us who had been 'adopted' by Mr. Poddar and invited over for dinner last night. The plan was that after my classes which end at about 7pm myself, Hardik "Rangeen" Jhaveri and Samridh "Ghungraloo" Sharma would head together to Poddar Uncle's place. But the bav we booked ditched us for some strange reason. So we found ourselves stranded. So we decided to take one of our batchmates car and head to Mr. Poddar's house.

Both Rangeen and Ghungraloo are hard core entreprenuerial by nature. They were discussing about business and value. Then the conversation between Rangeen and Ghungraloo enroute were something like this:

Rangeen: I hope he doesnt offer alcohol. I have decided to stay off alcohol for a month. Last term I drank like a fish. Need to detox.

Ghungraloo: Ya dude. Me too !!!! This time when I was home I was playing cards all night and in the morning when my Dadi woke up I was still drinking. This was when I realized that I had been drinking too much.

Rangeen: But he's a big-shot for sure. So I guess he'll have a big bar at his place.

Ghungraloo: ... and he'll have the best of whiskies and stuff

Rangeen: What if he offers ?

Ghungraloo: I'll head straight for Single Malt whisky ...

Rangeen: I'll attack Black Dog whisky ...

All this while I was wondering about what each one's first words in this conversation were ... ISBians I tell you ...

Soon after we reached Uncle's place where we were welcomed very warmly by him. All of us sat around in a big circle. Uncle told us about himself, his family, the businesses his handled but what came across as most interesting about him was his passion about Kailash Mansarovar. He talked about how he no longer into his businesses so that he could do something for the society.

Between munching on the delicious Corn pakoda and awesome Dhokla that Uncle had been serving us we had Dr. Somnath entertaining all of us by probing with endless tales about Mr. Poddar's connection to Kolkata. The Doc was missing Durga Puja at home and compounding that was the Diwali atmosphere.

Then Dinner was ready and weren't we hungry !! The food was so delicious that all of us descended on it like a pack of wolves. However Soham, Puneet, Sukesh, Vikram, Tokas, Nandan and Sarfi were on a balanced diet.

While Aanchal, Janani and Suparna were on a See food diet. They only saw the food; ate very little of it. They had some very good insights about how to fool our body when it comes to Calories.

Then we played a funny game - Who wants to be Jalebionnaire ? In this game Uncle chased us and fed us more Jalebis than we have ever eaten. By the end of it Arun "Frenchy" Sagar and Ghungraloo had beaten others by a margin of about half-a-dozen. Rangeen and I used our own hypothesis to dodge most Jalebis. Aanchal and Suparna lost whatever competitive advantage they had won over other girls in terms of Calories input in a single meal that night.

But as the famous quote goes ... If nobody cant, VibhorKant ! At about 11pm just when everybody had been battered and bruised after eating about a dozen Jalebis, Vibhor wanted tea ! In shock Tokas fainted ! Finally Dr. Somnath could retrieve him from the shock without using his medical skills.

All in all it was a fun-filled night and hats off to whoever conceptualized AIKYA. Its a awesome platform for some real social networking and each one of us went home that night richer by experience. ISBians are priveleged in matters like this. Truly looking forward to the next one.

Finance: The Biggest Scam in History

2009-09-22T10:09:00.000+05:30

Disclaimer: Meant only in humor

Finance = "Faffin INtuition using chANCE"

The world of Finance is one big scam. They have made money out of making other people look like a constipated monkey tied to the kitchen sink. From the outside they make us believe them to be superior lifeforms who seem to know where the money is.

They help in reducing the rich-poor gap by constantly making the rich people poorer thus doing their bit for the society. So what if that costs us employment ! What's better than seeing somebody's life savings' going down the drain and all they get is "Economy is bad" ! By the way who the jackass in the universe controls the economy ? Let me know if you find out.

Coming back to Finance, take a look at Finance courses in a B-School and you'll understand the dirtiest practical joke played on humanity. Nothing is certain. Everything is assumed and then theories are built on that assumption and then they'll relax those assumptions, subtly prove the assumptions were no good and conclude by saying that the base assumption was an act of god.

You can manipulate every assumption as per your own convenience. Tweak the cash flows and you have a new NPV. Make big equations with lot of terms such that people cannot come to terms with that equation. Clout your lack of capability using Probability. Call everything expected and then expect the unexpected. Blame it all on idiosyncrasy. Tell people that the need to make these assumptions is to build intuition. Hurray !! Now I am a genius with a foundation of false knowledge based on unrealistic assumption. Gotta take one for Intuition. The survival of the human race depends on my sacrifice.

Lets look at something called the one factor model:

Expected Return = alpha + (beta*Factor of shock) + idiosyncratic error

Now take any historical data including your grades since kindergarten and tell me if you cannot fit it into this equation. First you make a prediction. And then based on it make a estimate. And them make up for your lack of understanding with the error term. So in totality you need to be a astrologer and not a MBA grad.

Pivot quite a few of your numbers on Historical data and then use the same historical data to prove how wrong the historical data is i.e. do not use the past to judge the future. No wonder Mutual Funds say "Past performance is not an indicator of future performance" which in English is "Dude somehow the guy who broke the coconut, broke it at an auspicious time and hence it all worked out well but don't you think that you are going to get this lucky".

In the end I guess everyone needs to earn a living by hook or by crook. So be it by pulling a fast one on the countless number of people who believe Finance is something to do with money. Everybody who can count himself to be a decent Astrologer can be good Finance professional. So all you Finance hopefuls, start listening to Bejan Daruwala more intently .... you just might pick up Intuition !

Exchange This !

2009-07-02T11:39:00.001+05:30

Exchange programmes bid results are out. Most people are going to the usual boring places like Kellogg, Wharton, NYU Stern, Tuck, Duke, London Business School etc but a few of us are going to some awesome places. Here is a mini-list:

1. KK: Going to Sahara Desert to appreciate some more wild life and in return getting exchanged with a Wild Boar.

2. Vivin: Going to Wimbledon so that he can now use his Tennis racket to play tennis rather than chase stray dogs at midnight.

3. Manjari: Going to Germany as Oktoberfest allows to continue her secret life as Beero.

4. Arjun: Going to Argentina as our Ghoda likes the Grass there. Though that means SV4 will be manure-less and ISB would tardiness-free !

5. Priyom / Jay / Prashant / Suyog : Going to Thailand as thats the Mecca of the Pink Daddies !

6. Hardik: Going to Hawaii as only that place exchanges Rangeen aka colourful students.

7. Viggy: Going to Broadway to be a bigger Dramebaaz than he is currently

8. Sai: Going to Switzerland with the woman of his dreams in exchange for some Cows.

9. Kaushal: Got tricked into going to HEC, Paris as he thought H & C in HEC stood for Honor code

10. Somnath: Going to China / Myanmar to propagate democracy through SOMBOX

11. Saurabh Jhawar: Going to Columbus, Georgia to explore the possibility of the next big thing - the Coke shampoo.

12. Tanya: Going to a research tour to Italy on how to make Middle Managers Deliver while zooming around in a Ferrari

13. Soham / Dushyant: Going to on a world tour so that MJ's Moonwalk can be replaced by Soham's Earthjump and Dushant's Sleepwalk !

14. Prabhat / Deepak / Mohit / Rajesh / Kishore : Going to Vatican to be the Chorus for next Christmas !

15. Aarti Kapur: Going to California for an internship under the original "Commando" !

16. Aarti Ganesh: Going to Tibet in exchange for a monk !

17. Mamta: Going to UK in exchange for a coffee-spilling MI5 spy.

18. Gaurav Bhatnagar: Sorry his marital pressures dont let him go anywhere !

19. Vikas Poddar: Wherever being "Game" is legal !

20. Ashwin Uppal: Is going to the American Museum of Natural History in exchange for a similar aged Dinosaur there !

As for me, I am going to Swat Valley in exchange for some PoWs.

Genetic Evolution

2009-06-23T08:34:00.001+05:30

In a time not long long ago the "invisible" hand decided to get creative. It sent a unique and special specimen to the Planet. Of all the eligible and eager countries it decided to bless the Mother of Democrazies - India. It is the only place on the planet where God's own country is a state. Among the numerous possible states in the country the good fortune was bestowed upon Cochin in Kerala. Years later, fate and destiny brought him to ISB, Hyderabad.

"Is that like an acronym or a real name?" said Vivin Mathew when he was first introduced to this prodigy. His name was KK.

He chose to announce himself to the world through innovative thinking and kind-heartedness during the big bad world of Managerial Economics. "Sir, why is it a fly?" quipped KK when shown the pic above. "I dont like to aim at flies because they fly. They can get wet and sit on us. Would you like that?" continued KK. "I would prefer ants. After they got wet and came close all you have to do is run faster than the ants. After all its all about intuition."

All this while his engineering skills was lying dormant. Atleast thats what he wanted others to believe. So he engineered a perfect 'leak'-mail of their assignments along with the naturally talented Shweta Divecha. And with all this his "Boutom-line" grew.

KK is potent everywhere - in air, on land and even under water. Under water his Blackberry is like a Bofors gun - shoots and sinks people at will. And just like how Phantom signed off with the "skull" mark on his targets .... KK signed off by saying "Sent from my underwater Blackberry"! His special Blackberry was custom-designed as shown in the pic below:

Over time his violent nature grew until it had reached unmanageable proportions. KK was now looking for signals from above. One fine day down came the legend--wait for it -- dary "Wild Boar" which changed KKs life forever. His war against humanity for these Wild Boars was exemplary. Though he faced undue criticism for calling "pigs" as "wild boars" but KK fought on valiantly. This feat earned him the presudo-Presidentship of the fictitious Wildlife club. Till date he continues to wage his war.

The "Wild Boar" had now taught KK to channelize his raw energy towards discipline. He decided to become what History would remember as the "Shaolin of Cochin".

Legend has it that he still loves his Coffee. Last heard he was trading Rs. 100/- with a bread loaf between his left and right hand so that velocity of Money became infinite and hence GDP became infinite. Wish him luck !

My Election Speech

2009-06-09T01:45:00.002+05:30

Food

This cartoon was to emphasize on the fact that the hygiene audits would be stringent.

This cartoon was to signify how I plan to have that 'zing' in the menu

Infrastructure

This was to signify that the response time to infrastructure based issues would be closely monitored.

This was to signify the "Go green" initiatives which also included water conservation through optimal usage of washing machines.

IT support

This was to signify that regardless of the type of problem, support would always be prompt.

This was to signify the need to beef up IT infrastructure in a few places where it was falling short. For e.g signal boosters where wireless signals were weak.

Library

This was to signify the increased range of books that were to be made available at our Library.

This was to signify the need for a mechanism for notification of the arrival of new books in the library.

HealthCare

This was to signify that stocks of all critical medicines needed for students would be stocked at the Wellness centre.

This was to signify that I wanted to look into the heavy usage of Local Ferrari and reasons so see where OIC could step in.

Other Vendors

This was to signify that I would try and get the vegetable vendor twice a week to campus.

This was to signify that I would look into stocking policies at MORE w.r.t availability etc

Accountability

This was to signify that as member of the GSB Core I would be acting responsibly and ensuring that the core was accountable to GSA.

This was to signify that for matter related to OIC the buck would stop at me i.e. I would be accountable to GSA for all OIC matters.

Something that would be impossible ....

This was to signify that action would be taken on all complaints and nothing would be dusted under the carpet and left to God.

Expectations in check !

This was to signify that though I'll try and get in positive changes but I cant get the impossible done in one shot i.e. it will take time !

And finally incentives for those who vote for me ...

Enter SmackD the Director

2009-06-03T11:56:00.001+05:30

Phew ! Whatte Week ! Last Sunday after spending some awesome time with my friends at Hyderabad I came back to campus a fully contended man ! I felt I was ready to take over the world !

I had been in two minds about standing for the post of Director - Operations and Infrastructure Council. It was a trade-off as to how much time I could devote to myself (Friends, BBK, Blog etc) vs. to others (Acads, OIC etc). I loved this kind of Thankless jobs. Brings out the best in me because nothing is more challenging than get a Thank you in a thankless job. My success at Ashok Leyland (in far more worse n thankless conditions) was a testimony to the fact that I can do justice to this post.

By the way I personally feel voting in India especially in the General Elections is a scam. I think those survey junta like Gallup must do all this and tell us who won. Anyways they make a living out of such kind of stuff. How many people brush twice a day, how many people are men, how many people had monkeys as ancestors kind of surveys ! Will save us a major pain of going and voting between the bad and worse.

By the way when you are standing for the elections, all of you can think of is elections the whole day. What are my chances, who are all the competitors etc etc ? When I look at my watch to see the time I see elections all over it !

After I had decided on it fully I wrote down my manifesto, bringing about in one page major issues that I wanted to tackle this year. Was careful enough not to have a Jargon-filled manifesto. Afterall I was presenting ideas and not taking a marketing lecture !

Then came the Presentation ! I didnt want to pretend as somebody else on the stage. So I prepared a PPT which had SmackD signature all over it. ( A separate blog on this coming up next)

In the end though I won by a convincingly huge margin but the competiton was tougher than what it may seem on paper. Hopefully now I will be able to do justice to it.

Hurried note

2009-05-30T15:57:00.006+05:30

To the non-ISBians reading this blog,

Reason for the silence?
Exams. First end terms. On Monday and Tuesday. Also just completed various assignments and quizzes.
The class even squeezed in an extra lecture with visiting Prof. John Zhang. (Rock..EEEEE)
Where can you find us mostly?
Library. Goel. Room. Atrium.

oh..and please visit http://www.helpabhishek.com/

A friend of a classmate needs our help in his battle against cancer. We are all gonna do our bit. Do spread the word.

Yours,
In a bit of a daze,
Me.

While you are here...

2009-05-26T22:52:00.003+05:30

You run a marathon as if it were a sprint,
Till you find your pace in each terrain.

You push your limits on another's scale,
Till you make it a race with your past.

You defend against chance opponents,
Till you realise this ain't your game.

You rest with just a deeper breath,
Till you glance beyond the finish line.

You dismiss the ache of dormant ability,
Till reason finally catches up with you.

You know all along what you want to do,
You're just too scared to say it aloud.

And that you've noticed life's hard knocks,
Only tells me you may be on the wrong path.

Director's Cut Version of my Manifesto

2009-05-26T06:49:00.005+05:30

Its Election time and I am standing for Director - Operations & Infrastructure Council (OIC). So here are some highlights of my unpublished OIC manifesto: [For illustrative purposes only. Not to be copied. not even the comments]

* I will start an international consortium of a present day industry case study [Go figure out what this means]

* My experience so far, comprises my childhood in the school, a career at XYZ and an active interest in the every high-paying sector.” - [Child prodigy]

* To empower each and every fellow student to discover and realize his or her full potential and to change the way we think of ourselves, the way we think of each other and the way others think of us – [Wow, a lot in it for you to think about!]

* To truly have a OIC of the people. – [To hell with by the people, for the people]

* To be honest, fearless, neutral, accountable, having great integrity of thought and action. To be affable, open and approachable to everyone. [Talent Personified]

* It is this diversity, leadership experience and ability to interact with people and using those interactions to drive towards the desired objectives (infrastructure building and shopping opportunities in our case) that makes me believe that I will be an effective and efficient OIC Director. – [This sentence is neither effective nor efficient!]

* Redressal forum for individual grievances – [Mommy will be in the house]

* Youngest Belt wearing Professional – [Youngest in the family, youngest in Mars]

* If it is significant for you, so it is for me. Openness is my priority, neutrality is my strength– [And rhetoric is my forte]

NJ

2009-05-22T12:03:00.004+05:30

The news is spreading like wild fire. The massive collective intellect of the strong and energetic batch smiled at NJ and he will now have the honor of representing ISB 2010.

Channeling this raging ball of fire (the class) is not an easy task, but so is winning an election contested by 24 brilliant minds. I take the liberty to represent the crazy folks here at ISB-MMX and the Class of 2010 at large to congratulate him on the win and wish him every success in whatever he sets out to do as our GSB President.

There's so much to be done. The entire batch is overflowing with ideas. We'll all be little Presidents on our own accord and drive the initiatives we're passionate about. And we will rely on NJ to steer this massive collective intellect in the right direction using his signature 'calm, composed and confident' approach.

Go NJ go!

Pause

2009-05-19T01:07:00.000+05:30

Our life's too busy
With lots happening.
The pace promises
to never keep slackening.

Commitments to keep,
Loads to read.
And then aim to emulate
examples who lead.

Pop-quizzes and exams
with alarming regularity.
Meetings and sessions you attend
Hoping for some clarity.

Career, job options, dream jobs.
And then a nagging worry of the loan.
Jamming sessions, high on 'spirits'.
Followed by bright sunny mornings when you moan.

Words of wisdom passed along.
"Introspect", "Identify", "Do what you like".
A mad rush to do everything you can.
Anything - to get that "spike".

Forgotten the real reasons,
That essay written with conviction; that clause.
Struggling to keep up like Superman.
Ultimately losing out on the cause.

Pause.

Elections on the horizon ...

2009-05-18T19:19:00.006+05:30

Elections? What elections? I know it sounds funny, especially to people who are not in ISB, to hear about elections just after the Election results came out and finally the country is looking at a stable government, but from an ISB perspective, the major election event on campus is just getting started. Elections for the post of GSB president are scheduled for the 21st of May. With an increased batch size this year, all sorts of rumors on the number of candidates contesting abound. From sections with no people to some sections with 5-6 people contesting (mine, I think :P), a clearer picture should surface by tomorrow once final numbers are out from the admin office. It is kind of expected with 560 ambitious people in the batch of course.
The next step will be the soapbox where all candidates will get a limited time to present their manifestos in front of the whole student body. A lot of people have been campaigning in advance already in the last week or two as well.
Will vote bank politics and personal loyalties work in elections where you have an electorate that consists of 560 highly intelligent people with a future in corporate India? Or will everyone be impartial in their choice? That is one thing I personally want to find out.

More to come as the whole election scenario unfolds. We dont have an exit poll, yet, but you never know what resourceful people in the batch will come up with next. :)

PS: The bloggers in the batch are already keeping a close eye on the happenings going on in campus and expect a couple of reports on the election scene as it progresses...

What the city says...

2009-05-17T07:22:00.005+05:30

It took all the wishing of 560 people for time to cross 4:30 yesterday. Us quaddies got out of the campus after the test. Two weeks can seem like a very long time - ISB time.

It was a hot-wind-in-your-face ride in the auto up to Hyderabad Central even at 6 in the evening. Now, ISB is a beautiful place – but, I miss the city! The crowds, the traffic, the shops…everything. Yesterday was a quick dunk into my favorite part of cities – malls! I love the whole shopping experience – even if I end up not buying anything (which occurs very often).

Hyderabad seemed so beautiful last night on the way back. In the van with hummable hindi songs on the radio. Dark night. Pleasant wind messing my hair. A satisfied mind. We passed through mainly shopping areas. I don’t know if it was the euphoria of surviving the midterms, but it was all so beautiful.

Somehow I liked the sight of a beautiful brand logo standing atop a dark building against an equally dark sky. I can’t explain it much, as you can see. Go closer and things may not look as pretty. But, from that distance, everything looked good – the shop windows, the decor, the billboards, the sights and smells. Maybe it was the apparent effort put in that I liked seeing. These people are trying to sell!

There was this balloon seller outside a mall on the way back. I caught a glimpse of him as the van sped on and I twisted around in my seat for another look. He had about 50 heart shaped balloons of every color blown up and tied together. He just stood on the edge of road, letting the wind sell his wares. What a sight! I know I won’t forget that in a hurry.

Cities don’t care about you at all and that suits me just fine. They are made of these places and experiences – you mix and match and manufacture your own joy - whatever works for you.

Torture's over, let the fun begin....

2009-05-16T18:59:00.004+05:30

You should have seen the Atrium yesterday evening. It looked straight out of a Ramsay movie! Deserted to the core. Not a single human being around. You should have walked around the campus. Empty again! Like someone was remarking yesterday - "Where do you go to see 576 nerds under one roof?" Answer - ISB during exams! And sure as hell that was the case. People cramming in their quads, delayed dinners that'd last not more than 9 minutes and 32 seconds. Don't ask me how I got that number. Someone told me that they had taken a SRS with sample mean = 9.76 minutes and looking at the t tables I kinda estimated the population mean! OK... If I continue, I'll probably get beaten up the next time I step out of the safe confines of my quad!

Not just the physical locations on campus. Outlook was uncharacteristically quiet as well. No random emails. No personal conversations relayed through chain mails to the whole student community. No club meeting requests, no minutes, and no 'I throw my hat into the GSB ring' campaign messages either! Facebook was full of mourning messages relating to something Statistically related to the Economic Accounts of Marketing! Know what I mean?

And while there was an unusual emptiness in the prettier, non geeky parts of campus, the LRC was full of groups piled together poring over a pile of books! And if the piles of books were not enough, we always had the treasure hunt surrounding the 'hidden' reference books! Going all around the floor looking for some person holding on to the blue cover wala Velleman book, grab the individual's attention, 'network BIG TIME' and trade with him/her for quality book time!

But now all that is done. For the time being at least! We have another 2 weeks for an encore. But why care about that now? The quiet is over, and it's time to hit the party circuit BIG TIME! Happy end of mid terms everyone - Let the fun begin!!!

No more.

2009-05-15T00:52:00.000+05:30

A strange feeling -
Numb but not tired,
I think it is saturation.

I want to indulge,
Find compensation,
And regain lost senses.

All, but frozen.
Nothing more is possible,
Today.

MBA FAD(M)s

2009-05-11T23:19:00.000+05:30

Many people say that MBA is a fad. I say come and attend our FADM classes. FADM stands for Financial Accounting by Decision Making.

The first half of the course was taken by Professor Mohan Venkatachalam from Duke University. Who knew Accounting could be so much fun. Only a maverick like he can make a mundane subject like accounts come alive in class. In a class composed of mostly engineers, he literally brought Taare Zameen Par. Today was his last class and he actually showed a clip from the above mentioned movie wherein the kid draws the winning picture in the competition. He explained the reasoning behind showing the clip that today being the last day, everything he taught will fall into the big picture and it will all make sense.
It all started on our very first day of classes. The first class contained such gems as "Many students say Accounting seems like Greek and Latin to them - one day Greek, next day Latin"! In our class, the Chartered Accountants (CA) were given an option to continue normally or chuck the class to work on a project which would be more challenging to their intellect/knowledge. To elaborate on the choice, he brought up Matrix, the movie. When Morpheus and Neo meet, Morpheus offers Neo two pills. The red pill will answer the question "what is the Matrix?" (by removing him from it) and the blue pill simply for life to carry on as before. As Neo reaches for the red pill Morpheus warns Neo "Remember, all I'm offering is the truth. Nothing more." So he enacted the scene to the CAs that he'd offer this just once and if they accepted the red pill, that would be it and there's no turning back. To accentuate the point, he in fact brought 2 actual red and blue pills!

All ISB students were really emotional on seeing him leave and each section is planning to give him some gift as a token of our appreciation. He's such a sport that he agreed to be at the receiving end of ISB's most personal gesture - Dunking (where we throw the person to the swimming pool - generally reserved for Birthdays)!
Now that should be fun.

SHIT (SomeHow In Time) - 'Kodak' Moments

2009-05-10T14:40:00.002+05:30

Day One: 8th May - "Just Postpone It"

We had decided to meet at 9pm on Thursday but Gaurav requested for postponement as he was committed to the Pan-IIT meet happening that evening. We examined the entire issue in context of marital pressures and decided to meet next morning at 10.30am. Next morning Prasanna had a family emergency and had to rush to Chennai. So we had to make do without our Logistics Director for a day. By 10am Aastha woke up on the wrong side of bed and was feeling sick. Result: Postpone to 11.30pm. Then Vishakha mailed and postponed it to 12pm to give Aastha the additional 30 minutes to get better. Then I emailed asking for postponement to 1.30pm in view of my lunch schedule. Then Gaurav waved the magic wand of Marital pressures again and shifted it to 2pm. Then Aastha mailed since she was supposed to be at the Eco tutorial at 3pm.... and so the series went on till Gaurav finally decided to pick up the phone and the Clock stopped at 8.30pm. Our Director - Refreshments welcomed us with Pasta. Dicussed for an hour and half and called it a day !

Day Two: 9th May - "Of Permutations and Combinations"

The Famous Five met again today to solve a new mystery - the Funtime conundrum. And boy, were we not in our elements. We had agreed for a 3pm meeting the day before but it all seems a ploy to keep me out of study group meetings lest the discussions spillover to my blog. So when I walked in at 3pm sharp I see that three of them had been camping there since 2pm.

Aastha, Director - Refreshments, had lured everybody to her quad with promise of free Tea and she lived up to her promise. I was greeted into her quad by 7 different pairs of shoes and 7 different handbags - one for each day of the week I presume. She mathematically proved to me that the permutations and combinations in which she could wear them in unique combinations would last the entire one year. The math must have confused her quite a bit as she was suggesting that we use both sides of the page on Microsoft Word. Probably Bill gates would address this need of Aastha in the next version of Windows.

Prasanna, Director - Logistics, was bamboozled to see the number of postponements that had happened to our meeting in his absence. After all close to a dozen postponements in a matter of 4 hours is hard to digest even when you are on a overdose of Hajmola. He decided to play the devil's advocate and confuse the hell out of us without much effort. When he looked at Aastha's shoe collection he laughed at it as he had more number of shoes that too which belonged to different countries. His count of permutations and combinations would have lasted all the five of us this lifetime.

Gaurav, Director - Common Sense, put aside his 'marital' pressures and made it to the meeting by 2pm. He was a bit sad that this time he wouldnt be able physically bond with the assignment. But he was cheered up by the amount of value he added along with the number crunching. Its no secret by the way that IITians get an orgasm out of number crunching.

Vishakha, Director - Communications, started putting it all on the word document. She bonded so much with Aastha's laptop that the laptop too fell in love with her. They say Love makes one crazy ! The Word application too went crazy after that. The formatting just wouldnt come right !

We were almost done - atleast thats what it seemed. Aastha did the clean up job later in the evening and mailed us the rough draft late in the night. We decided to meet up next morning to finalize stuff.

Day Three 10th May: "The Case of the Moving Pies"

We meet at 9am. There was not much on content that we had to had so we expected to finish it all up by 10am, latest by 11am. But nature presents irony at every given opportunity. Microsoft word decided to test us today. We were doing basically three things: Formatting, Formatting & Formatting.

@ 10am: We had a few tables in our analysis. Formatting them was painful. They would shift left - right almost replicating Madhuri Dixit's thumkas. The lines above and below had also joined the Salsa party. While Gaurav, Aastha & Vishakha were fine-tuning content, Prasanna and me spent one hour formatting the tables. Success?? No

@ 11am: This was the time when the mysterious Force hit us. First Prasanna: "Arrey yeh Pie chart kidhar ko gaya?". Next 15 minutes he spent searching for it in the Excel sheet ! Finally we had to constitute a special task force for the search and rescue operation to resolve the issue. Then Gaurav: "I think the Pie charts are moving". He kept trying to put these 'moving' Pie-charts on leash but they were wild horses who refused to be subdued. After a long struggle we managed to tie it down.

@11.20 am: At this time the case decided to come alive and all the contents started dancing. The tables and the moving Pies decided to push it again. Finally we all had to don the Cowboy caps and whip the wild horses. Adrenalin rush had begin as the deadline came closer. This was when Shweta Divecha decided to up the ante and send across her group's submission to the entire section - Sleep deprivation, lost mind and marketing are a deadly combo. I wonder what would have happened if she had mailed it to the entire Co2010. Mailing lists can be cruel !

@11.45 am: Time for headers and footers. Formatting Jhamela - Reloaded !

@ 11.50 am: We were done finally ! We decided to convert into PDF before uploading into Turnitin. This would ensure that our formatting didnt go awry. We converted it and saved it. Oh not so easy ! We forgot we had saved it ! Redo to save time rather than search and rescue.

@ 11.55 am: Submitted successfully ! We had Aastha bring her 'Kodak' camera out and Sushmita click a Kodak moment !

It was a full on Bollywood masala with everything in it -

Romance: Vishakha and the Laptop
Suspense: Prasanna with the Lost Pie chart
Thrill: Gaurav with the Moving Pie charts
Action: Aastha with her PDF conversion
Comedy: Me ! (Need not elaborate I guess)

At 12pm finally we parted ways only knowing that the next Bollywood Flick is round the corner. Stay tuned folks !

Visitors @ ISB and hectic schedules

2009-05-08T02:59:00.001+05:30

The one great point of studying in a top college like ISB is the amount of industry interaction you can get. Its not even been a month since we have come here and already we have attended presentations/visits from so many people who are among the very best in their particular fields of business.

A round up of the various people who have already been to ISB since 10th April!

Mr. Lloyds Blankfein, CEO and Chairman, Goldman Sachs:

Goldman Sachs has initiated an initiative called 10,000 women. ISB is the Indian partner for the initiative which includes top business schools all over the world, such as INSEAD, LBS, Columbia, Harvard, Wharton, Stanford, Yale among others.
10,000 women is targeted towards providing a management education to women entrepreneurs all over the world in order to encourage and educate them. Video here.
Post the presentation, we had an interactive Q&A session for students and media that focused equally on the initiative AND the financial crisis.

Mr Mike Christenson, President & CEO, Computer Associates:

Mike Christenson visited ISB for a discussion on the current environment, and shared his experiences with current students. I couldn't attend this one because of schedule conflicts.

Navtej Sarna, Indian ambassador to Israel:

Mr. Navtej gave an interesting talk on 'Media and its role in diplomacy'.

Professor John Mullins, London Business School:

Professor Mullins gave an interesting talk on how VCs evaluate entrepreneurs and what it takes to be a good VC.

Atul Singh, President & CEO, Coca Cola India:

Mr. Atul Singh gave an interesting talk yesterday on how global companies have adapted to growing countries like India with respect to marketing, growth and social responsibility.

Go-to-Market Strategy for product companies, NASSCOM:

This workshop cum session was held today.

The point I am trying to make? Its a simple one. There is just so much to learn and take away from this place. Its been less than a month, and the above were NOT as part of any specific event etc. Its kind of part of normal routine here at ISB.

The funny part? I have personally attended only 2 of the above presentations. Why? Mainly because they ran concurrent to other stuff, classes, blogging meets, and other stuff that we have going on in addition to all this as well!!!!
Everyone has to manage their schedule. Theres just so much to do here, and thats in addition to studies, which IS after all a 2 yr MBA course condensed to 1 year as it is.

We have classes from Mon-Thu, with Fri-Sun for various workshops/assignments/quizzes etc. Heres what tomorrows (Friday) schedule looks like for me (Thank God for Outlook!):

I have removed the details, but you get the general idea. This is in addition to an assignment and a quiz as part of coursework that needs to be submitted by Sunday. Not to forget that these are ONLY events I am interested in. There are lots of meetings requests etc that I delete since I will NOT be attending. And before someone thinks I am taking up too much stuff, I am one of the people involved in least number of 'initiatives' etc here.
By the time I pass out, I will either be very good at time management and prioritizing stuff, or a completely burnt out shell after continuously running around here and there for the whole year. :D

The deal about doing your bit for society

2009-05-06T23:37:00.003+05:30

We had the CEO of Coke India, Mr. Atul Singh, visiting us on campus today. Khemka was full as usual, with people billowing in from all entrances, accompanied by books and bags, and as for sections E,F,G and H, a tired expression accompanied them as well as they walked in. No, I am not going to summarize what he said, nor am I going to give my perspective on what he said. I guess someone or the other would 'minutize' it, and if not, I guess there were enough people in there to fill in those who did not manage to come in for the session. In a nutshell, he spoke of how Coke perceived the Indian market and how our predominantly rural market posed new advertising challenges as such for the beverage industry, in general, and the Coke brand of products in particular.

Towards the end however, he spoke of the CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) initiatives undertaken by Coke. Therein he spoke of how they were into rain water harvesting, providing water to schools, restoration of the Sarai Bawari at Amer, not to mention the natural calamity relief and aid work . He mentioned Coke's vision and plan of replenishing every drop of groundwater they take by the end of this year. An extremely commendable move indeed by one of the world's largest brands, whose every move commands almost the maximum number of eyeball attention. I guess such moves can prompt plenty of other industry players to do their bit for society.

But in the midst of all this, I was struck by a sense of deja vu. Just a few days ago, in one of our accounting classes, there was discussion on how Starbucks was into huge CSR initiatives. I won't go into the specifics of the discussion we had back then, but today's mention of CSR by another beverage company, put me in mind of the previous event, wherein we had seen the Starbucks site displaying its CSR initiatives in South America. I just wonder whether CSR is the new bug that has bitten the world of large conglomerates? Or is it that given the present economic situation, the glaring need to look elsewhere for economic stimulus and growth, has resulted in atypical avenues being targeted? Either way, I guess something good can only come out of the whole exercise. What say?

GOLDEN MANTRA - SISO (SNAKE IN-SNEAK OUT)

2009-05-05T23:53:00.043+05:30

How do you react to slimy little newborns wriggling into your rooms?

1. Get the entire quad sprayed with some apparently snake-repelling liquid, till the stench makes you abandon your rooms as well. (The second snake in our quad appeared moments after the spray, like those AXE Effect babes unable to resist!!)

2. Start keeping the most quixotic mix of antivenoms, and take two ml with equal concentrations of Goel food.

3. Call Housekeeping even if rubber bands look suspicious (Murali usually comes to SV1 quads well-armed with broomstick and pickers)

4. If noone picks up the phone as in (3.), call 911. (for guys who declined US schools but never fail to mention they were in "States" for some time!)

5. Cry foul !! (They should have been more explicit when they mentioned about the famous peacock-crossing…You weren’t exactly expecting this right?)

6. Love nature, love thy neighbors, so do nothing.

By the way, if you choose 6. you are free to move into a ready-to-occupy Quad, SV1-C5. Don't panic if the non-paying residents are found watching TV, cooking Maggi, using the bathroom , etc.

We decided to opt out of the reality show.

I woke up yesterday with news that my quaddie Nakul had a snake in his room. Very few incidences in my personal life history have had the effect of waking me up so early, and so well (Well I do physically attend the morning classes at 8.15, but that isn’t an act in “full consciousness”). By the way, the housekeeping staff mentioned that the three snakes were of type ANACONDA!!

I find snakes as funny creatures: they don’t mind encroaching upon your personal space: bedroom or bathroom. And the worse part is, they are not willing to pay for the accomodation.

When we signed the life insurance and medical insurance forms as a part of the admission process, little did we bother about these potential threats lurking around the corners, wriggling into our fortresses of solitude (read Quad) with consummate ease.

There are quite a few lessons one could learn living with them:

1. Learn to share (your couch, commode, and so on…)

2. Learn to sleep with the enemy. (Married folks need not take this preterm!!)

3. Learn the law of the jungle. (MR=MC?? Not sure if that applies here…)

4. Learn what Steve Jobs learnt the hard way from Bill Gates (a small crevice may be enough for the enemy to creep in!!)

5. Learn the ultimate truth, that we all must meet the same end sooner or later (I wish I could position this realization to help the incorrigible ISB chain mail freak mellow down. In their unflinching resolve to be club presidents, you display infinite capacity to produce and consume snakeshit, and could well spare lesser mortals …)

So next time you see a mommy snake changing diapers for baby snake, you could use the formal decision making frameworks for action, marginal analysis of snake in = sneak out, statistics of occurence, or keep accruing the numbers.

Our 2-cents: Run for dear life!!!

Assignment 1: Birth of the Study Group

2009-05-05T15:44:00.008+05:30

A common myth: One of the ways in which Profs ensure you do your studies like a good boy or girl @ ISB is by putting you in a Study Group. Wrong Answer Buddy ! You'll find the real answers in places where you look for them the least !

My study group met up at the Library on Friday to complete our first Group assignment. First thing when we met we decided to distribute responsibilities:

1. Prasanna: He is the Director - Logistics who ensures everybody gets to know what time we are originally planning to meet so that we can have it postponed as per our convenience.

2. Aastha: She is Director - Refreshments. She has been priveleged with the rights to arrange for resfreshments every 15 minutes for us.

3. Gaurav: He is Director - Common sense. He is the one who is supposed to collate the inputs, strip them into minute details and give the official 'go-ahead' for finalizing the answers only if they made sense to him.

4. Vishakha: She is Director - Communications of the group. After getting the go-ahead from Gaurav she is suppose to, in extremely neat handwriting, write down the answers on the assignment paper.

5. Myself have decided to take on the toughest job: Director - Credits and Blames. Yes I will take all credit for jobs well done and pass on the blame for assignments botched up to whosoever is willing to take it (within or outside the group).

It was all perfect. We were like Enid Blyton's Famous five unravelling the mysteries of Managerial Economics together. This way we tackled all the problems with great ease.

Since we all realized the importance of "Bonding" we decided to take 4 hours for a 2-Hour assignment. In the end the experiement seemed to be working.

1. Vishakha bonded to the white sheets she was writing on.

2. Aastha bonded with the Tea cups from which she was drinking.

3. Gaurav bonded emotionally to the Assignment (Excuse he used: I'll drop it in "alone" after the final answer makes sense to me)

4. Prasanna bonded to the desktop picture on his laptop which strangely was rotated 90 degrees and in which you could see all the different stuff he got while processing loans for different countries at World Bank. His sports shoes looked Pakistani, Wrist watch Vietnamese, Pants Italian, Shirt Thai and Sun glasses Hawaiian. But he never got bribed. Try and question his integrity and you'll know how he got all those 'gifts'.

5. I bonded to the notion of having a fixed audience of 4 people who have no option but to bear the brunt of my (poor) jokes !

But all of them seemed to be treading the paths cautiously as has the been the case with 500+ other people on the campus whenever they are around me. I wonder why !

Photo-shoot

2009-05-05T15:32:00.005+05:30

Apparently, not everybody at ISB was looking forward to the second week after getting a taste of the first. When I walked into the class on Monday morning, I could see several sleepy faces from my half-opened eyes. We were jolted awake when a quiz paper was shoved into our faces as soon as we stepped into the class. The test was over even before my mind woke up to the fact that I was taking a test.

Then came the real spice in life. A photo-shoot for CAS. Those of us who had to get ready for the photo-shoot scrambled around getting the last few creases out of our suits. People were dressed in their charming best and lined up at the make-shift studio. People were handed a board with their PGID. The first photo was for an identification, and you had to face the camera holding the board with a sheepish grin on your face. If Smack D was writing this blog, he would use something like this to amuse all of us. I am sure Smack D wouldn't mind.

I mean no offence to PGID 420. Please take it in your stride.

After getting done with the real photo-shoot, we went crazy shooting more photos. We had a lot of fun, but that's for another day.

For all those wondering why housekeeping guys were running around with sponges and buckets of watery liquid from the photo-room at about 5:30 PM yesterday, keep wondering. My friends who were with me when I walked into the photo-room know what it is all about, and they promised to keep it to themselves.

Jargon in ISB

2009-05-04T22:37:00.007+05:30

First of all, a disclaimer:

While I never shy away from pulling someones leg, this is a generic post NOT intended to pull the leg of anyone in particular, just some stuff I have noticed in 'general' during classes in the last 2 weeks :D So if you take offense, its more a case of a guilty conscience than any particular effort from my side ;)

With so many smart people around, there are a lot of people who either assume that everyone is as smart as them, or, want to show how smart they are . Hence we have jargon filled sentences being fired at the profs during different classes, with people clamoring to show off their management knowledge / knowledge of that particular subject. Of course, I may be wrong and perhaps thats just how you talk after a couple of years as a manager/consultant, in which case I will apologize once I see it for myself, in a few years hopefully....

I dont even remember the jargon that gets used in class sometimes, its that heavy and difficult to follow. With contribution from some people in my section, in no particular order, heres a compilation of some jargon common among ISB students:

It depends: This has been the favorite of everyone on campus, especially when you are asked a question by the professor and want to do a classic walk right on the fence to get CP points no matter which of the two options is correct.
Paradigm Shift: Another favorite of people looking for fancy words. A paradigm shift can be applied to anything and by anyone, thus confusing the whole class sometimes, what to talk of the prof.
Thought Leader: Ah yes,we are all expected to be thought leaders soon, but no one has a clear idea of what kind of thoughts a thought leader is supposed to have though.
20,000 feet overview: or was that 30,000 feet? Not that it matters much. A favorite of people during club presentations, when they haven't done something, but still want to show what they know, thus giving everyone a veryveryvery high level overview which is of no use to anyone.
Reinvent the wheel: Another chestnut, can be applied anywhere and everywhere when someone wants to show how hes understood the concept and wants to state it in his own words hoping for some more CP.
Dude: Universal term here. I use it as often as anyone. Can refer to anyone from a 24 yr old to a 45 year old, especially since more often than not, you dont know the name of the other person who you may just have met. The context and usage differ of course.
Network: And of course, the grand daddy of them all, responsible for 'dude' above. The word many of us are sick and tired of, but which just wont go away. Something that we are all supposed to do as much as possible over the next one year.
Gyan: Refers to all the top secret info imparted by alums before they left us to the mercy of the ISB campus for this year. Also may refer to information imparted by people during club sessions. Maybe good or bad, either way.
Arbit: Universal term actually, referring to 'arbitrary', used a lot in context of ACP.
ACP: The ghost of class participation which is destined to haunt some of our subjects this year.
LRC: An incomprehensible term when mentioned to friends and family not in ISB. Refers to the college library or 'learning resource center' (Did I get that right?). The place which all the studious students hit till 2AM everyday.
Quadee: Similar to roomie/room-mate. Refers to 4 people/quadies living in the shared apartments or 'quads', as they are referred.
Comparative Advantage: Another hot term which is just spreading like wildfire in campus after recent economics lectures. Any economics term/question/reason that you dont understand may have this as the answer, at least that seems to be the current perception anyway :D

Thats pretty much what I have managed to gather. Feel free to add more terms in the comments below.

(NOTE: This is NOT the specific jargon some people use. Thats even more incomprehensible to me and too full of 3 and 4 letter abbreviations to remember)

Does it Really?

2009-05-04T13:38:00.002+05:30

Well, with the grades of at least two exams out and more to follow... one things clear.

There's at least one place in B-school where the answer is never " It Depends"! :)

Where have all the Students gone....?

2009-05-01T15:22:00.003+05:30

The past 2 weeks at ISB were full of life. You could find people milling about at any time of the day or night (as much as you can with 500 people on a huge campus). There was always something or the other lined up for us to do, from the orientation games/presentations to the pre-terms preparing us for the 2 hour classes ahead of us. Not to mention the multiple parties, hanging out with people we were meeting for the first time and trying to 'network' with. Life was busy busy busy till the 26th.
All of a sudden, the mood on campus changed, and on Sunday, there was hardly anyone to be seen on campus. I took a stroll and thought everyone was out for a party, till I reached the Atrium that is apparently the only place people find to meet up on campus, especially when they want to study/talk about studying. The atrium was completely full, crowded by masses of study groups, people walking about with books under their arms and zombie-like expressions on their faces. Occasionally you would hear stuff like "Explain this concept again, I need those CP points." :P Everyone seemed to be hard at work trying to get those pre-reads right. You could cut the tension with a knife.

Well, the week came and went. For the non-ISBians, ISB follows a 4day week (Mon-Thu), with the other three days for studying and completing weekend assignments :P And an interesting weeks its turned out to be. It wasnt as worse as some people were afraid it would be. There were new subjects, new concepts, and even a Quiz we all managed to complete.

The weekends here. Study groups are still getting together to complete various assignments, but the faces are less zombified than what they were last weekend. :) We even had a Week1 survival party Yday evening.
As for the coming weeks, not to mention the mid-terms (Already!!!!!!!!!!) the week after this, stay tuned. :)

Dunkings galore

2009-05-01T03:51:00.002+05:30

What better way to kick start my stint at 'superstardom' (quoting Vinit who told me to celebrate my elevation from being a mere mortal to being a blogger on MMX!!!) than to write about the one event that gets people charged up close to midnight on some random day? Yup! Its all about grabbing an individual who, perhaps for the first time in life feels bad about the day marking the addition of a year in his life, and swinging him precariously over a pool and screaming ONE.... TWO.... THREE in perhaps the most evil way possible. Till splosh!!! or perhaps splotch!!! or some such thing. The poor fellow / fellie (forgive the rotten word usage), then needs to grin while the water goes gurgling through God knows where, and in some cases, needs to look through wet spectacles, all the while smiling sweetly, as the rest of the gang (dry... mind you), watches, claps, enthusiastically, like how the family/friends of the Bakra on MTV Bakra used to. And as if this were not enough, they make many more people feel hopelessly soaked about the fact that it is some person's birthday. Yup! The study group, the quad mates. And if these many people do not fill the pool sufficiently, the beeeeeeeeeeeeest friend is thrown in. And if that also does not suffice, then in a sudden burst of extreme over enthusiasm, the whole class jumps in. Some even get carried away by the concept of experiential marketing (don't dunk me for this), and describe at length the 'benefits' of getting dunked, and also explain the lost opportunity cost of not getting dunked (for this statement, I can imagine myself at the bottom of the pool!!!). Some go a step further. 'DUNK ME DUNK ME... I am up for grabs' (literally), is the mantra on some lips! And ever since marketing started, we have had another reason to dunk! Oh yeah! The CPs. Arbit or otherwise!

So much for the description. I for one, feel that the attitude of our people towards the whole 'yeah I caught a cold on my Birthday of 2009' is real cool. Even better is the massive turnout of the class / batchmates, quadies, whoever, who make the birthday special for all those away from the original friends and family with whom they used to herald in their birthdays till last year. And... as for the ACP kings and queens - cheers to you guys for the zinda dill attitude - in class and at the pool :) And the icing on the cake is when the class gets carried away and lands up into the pool, as a show of solidarity.. Oh hell, no solidarity, the weather is much too hot and musty!!!!

So, no cartoons here, no long winded gyaan here. Just my take on some things I find sweet and cute here at ISB. Happy reading guys, and please note, I AM NOT AVAILABLE TO BE DUNKED IN CASE YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I WRITE. In case you don't like anything I write, dunk Vijeth and Vinit, and ok.. dunk anyone you want. They'd perhaps jump in anyway!

Week-3 Case Study

2009-05-01T03:28:00.016+05:30

During the first week, the treasure hunt and the Bind Unwind programs took the wind out of our lungs, the moisture out of our tongues. We lost a few pounds and felt a lot younger. During the second week, we lined up to the Rec center to try out hand at figuring out the kinetics and dynamics of various predominantly spherical objects. Long walks, hot showers, cold beer... the list goes on and on. Life was so good that even Goel food tasted heavenly.

As announcement after annoucement started dropping on the blackboard, the tone of the whole campus changed. People started walking across campus with a sense of determination. Everybody looked like they have been on the dreaded spiral staircase atleast once in the past 24 hours. The professional clubs were a phenomenon, and there's a lot written about it already.

I never realized it was Monday until my alarm went on a frenzy at 7 in the morning. The tension was so high in the air that even the bunch of chinese students visiting ISB that day could smell it in the air.

The pre-terms really endowed me with some key skills that proved very helpful in classes. Here are some... mind you... these skills are hard to come by.

Yawning without opening my mouth
Sleeping with my eyes open (source: Vignesh aka Jignes)
Sitting in a chair continuously for two hours
Not uttering my favourite explitive when something doesn't make sense\
Understanding the irony of life when an old 5 rupee coin means the whole world to me
Holding a pen between my fingers without consciously thinking about it
Appreciating the inner bliss when I stand in queues

There are skills that the pre-terms didn't teach us, but we managed to acquire - Smack D hinted at some of them in his post.

Losing nametags, sunglasses, underwear etc.
Writing extremely long emails (because I can type)
Using Outlook rules and the oh-so-sweet sweet delete button (See 2 above)
Drinking coffee at 3 in the morning and then chanting 'MR = MC' about 108 times
Declaring that the buffet at Goel is heavy and expensive and substituting it with 3 plates of Chole Bature at the Cafe, 3 almond frappes at CCD, 3 triple sundaes at Baskin Robbins and 3 chilled beers with 3 packets of chips.
Setting an entry fee for our own party (Practical applications to price elasticity of demand)
Waiting for 20 minutes with our hand raised for a 20-second chance to speak
Understanding that obesity is caused by a 'paradigm shift'

Here's the summarized accounting for the 3 weeks (We regret the bad formatting - I'm learning HTML to make it look neater - WIP)

Week-1
Particulars Debit Credit
----------------------------- ---------- --------------
Goel Account Rs. 1700
Cash Account Rs. 1700
Hot sun 22 Liter
Body water 22 Liter

Week-2

Goel Account Rs.1700
Cash Account Rs.1700
Work-out account 3 kg
Body weight Account 3 kg
Pre-term account Rs.15000
Cash Account Rs.15000

Week 3

Cafe account Rs.2000
CCD Account Rs.1200
Baskin Robbins account Rs.1000
Wine Shop Account Rs.5000
Party Account Rs.500
Coffee Machine Account Rs.100
Sun-glass Acct (Written off) Rs.5000
Cash Account Rs. 14800
Body weight account 6 kg
Binami account 6 kg

Assignment (20 marks)
Prepare a retrospective analysis of the value proposition offered by Week-3 to ISB students at the start of the week, and how the perspective of students changed from Monday through Thursday. Prepare a balance sheet, Cash flow statement and Income statement for Week 1 to 3. Describe how different Week-3 could have been if students didn't lose their nametags. (No less than 5000 words).

Week 1: The Disability Week

2009-04-30T15:57:00.001+05:30

Week 1: History ! Done and dusted under my bed (which the housekeeping will clear in an hour from now). The week that went by went off smoother than probably most of us expected. Each one had hyped it up to be a week when even peeing peacefully would be a luxury. From how it went by that was not even close to it.

It has been a week of self-disovery and disability. People kept discovering new ways of getting injured - twisting ankles, falling from bikes, falling after getting drunk etc etc. The Local Ferrari has been kept continuously busy. While others learnt that they were disabled in some way or the other. I saw a lot of people who were Statistically-Challenged, Economically-downtrodden, Financially-unstable & Marketing-Goofs. Talk about diversity !

Most slept through the time they should have been awake and were wide awake when they should be instead sleeping. Personally I discovered how life can be ironic. I coordinated and scheduled my Study group meeting and when the time came I was fast asleep in my room.

I also saw the different forms of Class Participation (CP) on full display. You can categorize them as follows:

1. Desperate CP would think "Everybody has spoken atleast once. I have to say something else I'll get lowest in CP" and would say "Professor, I totally agree with him. *blah blah .. repeat the same points in Greek *"

2. Arbit CP would think "I gotta say something that must look intelligent." and say "Professor, you taught about Balance sheets today. What if it didnt balance, would you still call it Balance Sheet"

3. Infinite CP would not think. He would go on and on and on till somebody threw a short at him or the world came to an end.

4. Extra CP would say "Professor you ave asked us to read 12 chapters from XYZ book and come for tomorrow morning's class. Should we be also solving problems given in ABC book?"

5. After CP would run after the Prof as soon as class gets over and say "Professor, I wanna create a smart and intellectual image of myself in your eyes so can I ask you about something fancy that was in the Economic times today morning and is remotely connected to your subject"

I saw conversations shift from "Have we met? What is your name? Which Section are you in?" to "Dude, have you read the pre-read? Is it connected to what is taught in Class? How is the Prof ? Did you have a surprise quiz?"

The number of Club related SPAMs came down while "I lost my Name tag" mails hit the roof. Coffee sales hit a new high. Big long queues shifted from Goel Dining Hall to the Cafe. Swimming Pool saw more dunking than swimming.

.... and as for me I only sat and watched in amazement !

CP blues...

2009-04-29T19:27:00.002+05:30

I’m starting to write this halfway through the first case discussion in marketing class where class participation counts for the final grade. I don’t think I’m going to be any good at CP. The pressure to say something is just too much. Everyone’s hand is in the air – some even before the complete question is framed. Some hands are almost never down. The pace is very very rapid. People jump in with words, hardly taking the time to frame a coherent sentence.

Genuine questions or doubts or requests for the professor to repeat a concept are suppressed when classmates are so impatient to speak themselves that they don’t want to listen to another. Everyone wants to talk before all the good points are taken. Some people have questions much beyond the concept being covered and people from other backgrounds are left behind. It is also very depressing if in such controlled conditions, you aren’t able to come up with the answers that your classmate can.

But then, I am different. I need some time to absorb a subject and to really get into a conversation. I like to listen when someone is talking. I take some time to process that information and respond. But, there is no time here.

I must say that the professor managed this chaos admirably. I would go crazy in his place.

I am reminded of this dialogue from the sitcom FRIENDS – the episode where Chandler is up for an interview where Phoebe says

Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!

That is it. shhhh!

Eternal April !

2009-04-28T16:19:00.001+05:30

579 hyperactive strangers. One campus. Access to Student mailing list. Result: Madness

We had quite a few people clogging the mailboxes by trying to take initiatives on Professional Clubs like Consulting, Finance etc as well as Social Club like Dance etc as well as new ones like Fight Club, Running club, Sports Club etc etc and then you have people like me who clog inboxes with what may seem to some as Humor and SPAM to others. To compound miseries we have others hitting only the REPLY TO ALL button and sharing their views (which in most cases is unnecessary). Till now I used to attribute the hyperactivity on the emails here to the fact that we had 579 eager beavers on campus - each trying to take a new initiative.

But thanks to some of my smart and fun buddies I was exposed to the fact that this was known phenomenon - famously referred to as Eternal September (the time when students would join B-Schools in the US). So though each person is variedly different from each other but collectively we do exhibit a similar trait. As we deal with this deluge of mails we learn about respecting others time and sensitivity (in short netiquettes) which shows that with experiences people smarten.

I learnt my lesson the hard way yesterday how one little humor initiative leads to a whole lot of spamming and in turn leads to quite a few people getting pissed off. But all said and done, it does not matter what the intent was and what the result was, what matters is the ability to admit flaws and not repeat the mistake.

Hope the chaos and disorder would die down within a months' time and people can look forward to seeing just a dozen mails (as opposed to about 100 mails) everyday.

Campus Updates - It's picking up now !!

2009-04-28T09:25:00.001+05:30

With acads picking up, corridor conversations have shifted dramatically over past few days. From "Which Section you are in" to "Have you completed pre-reads". Increasingly people are forming their own comfort zones and hanging out there. However, you will still find many people whom you haven't met but most of the times there are now common friend to lead the introduction. Still there are times when the big bad octopus of Network encircles you and you bump into a complete stranger. Both parties introduce each other with a mutual understanding that both will soon forget the names but remember the face, and greet each other next time you bump in. Those are the updates on ISB Networking.

As for the classes, here goes some of my observations.. "Your CP is your legacy. Years down the line, your class mates will remember you by the quality of CP you make" was the first thing told to us by our marketing professor. So much for the peer pressure at ISB. But I take it as more of fun. Understandably there will be people who will do CP that will sound as ACP or DCP to many. But I think challenge for all of us is to learn to not get turned off by those comments. Rather gain the patience to embrace them or better do some CCP (Constructive CP) to bring the topic back to potent discussion. Somewhere everyone is right in his/her own world. It's takes courage to stand against the crowd and speak what you stand for. I trust that soon we will settle down and things will make lot more sense to all of us. Incessant positivist!!

Digging further into my experiences of the first day and the pre-reads / post-reads associated with the class, I have enjoyed my marketing class. While most of us submerged ourselves in the pre-read, the prof rocked the topic with numerous example that helped make sense of the all the circuitous concepts in the book. I like this example the most - Coca Cola was about to launch a vending machine that determined price of the bottle based on two different sensors - One that counts the no: of bottles left and the other that gauges the temp outside. So much for innovation and marketing!

Currently, I am on to my Stats pre-read. (Honestly I don't know why I am here - Writing. I still have 2 chapters to complete)...As much analytical people may think it to be, I guess the pre-read rocks with the practical applications of the subject. Everything written is just general concepts that we all apply in our daily lives. It's great to learn the structure around the same. Given my incessant liking for example, I will quote one from my pre-read - Walmart maintains database of all the transaction that has happened in its stores and the size of the database is three times the size of all material on Internet {:O}. Given this huge repository, Walmart was able to calculate what exactly people need while stocking stuff for Hurricane - Strawberry Pop-Sticks - and stuffed the same. Cool!! I increasingly feel that all the concepts we will learn are all common sense a.k.a Management. It's the practical applications and example from past will underscore our understanding of the concepts.

Finished with the random rambling and hence rejuvenated. Back to my stats pre-reads!! Ciao!!

The Weekend before the Holocaust !

2009-04-26T02:11:00.008+05:30

Waking up on a Saturday morning is always special. Its weekend time ! But waking up this Saturday was different. The tension in the air was so thick that you could actually cut it with a knife. In fact I saw Neha Chaturvedi doing that early in the morning. She said something to Aviral, which as per conventions of marital conversations was not to be agreed upon unless they had a good argument about it. Later I heard that Neha wanted to hire a maid for cutting this tension in the air. So as happens in all events of Marital importance Aviral had to bow down to Neha. Backstage reports suggest a foreign hand in all this - specifically a hand from Chicago. Most likely the dreaded "Maggi" couple Arpit / Pankhti were behind all this.

I sat and wondered what it was. Was a holocaust predicted ? Everybody in campus seemed to behave as if there was no life after this weekend. Some people had packed and left for nearby places the evening before. For all I know that our CORE terms start after this weekend. Was this a deliberate ploy to simply hype things up so that we could show off to the outside world that we were in a rigorous One-year MBA progarm or was it actually going to be that way ? Only time has the answers. ISB junta's reaction was to advertise the hype using Facebook status messages.

Mr. Diet Coke Keshto woke up today morning on the wrong side of the bed. He suddenly started feeling sick. Partly because he realised that his life was moving too fast and his hormones were moving faster. He got so nervous about statistics that he forgot his own vital statistics. So he decided to give "Section - A" meet a miss. But at the breakfast table he had a heart transplant and decided to attend the "Lights and Sound" show at Golconda. I scanned through his breakfast and found nothing that could have triggered such irrational decision. Maybe the beautiful ambience of Goel did this to him. By the way I handed him a awesome Stats book just to calm down any nerves.

Mr. Jiggy Shah probably dreamt about all this. So to cheer Mr. D.C. Keshto he wore a light pink shirt and bermuda garnished by a Nike cap. That reminded Mr. Zorro of his days in the Mexican prisons where they used to play Pinata wherein the Pony would be dressed in pink. If that didnt cheer Mr. DCK, even a hair transplant wouldnt. By evening Mr. DCK decided to transform as he had to go out to the section meet. He hit the gym, built some solid muscles even on his nose. He was now Rambo. Soon he headed to his room and took out Chopsticks. Chopsticks ?? To comb his hair. He was now truly Mr. Chopstick Rambo ! If he stands for any election, we all know what his symbol will be.

Since we didnt want to take chances with the Holocaust prediction we had planned to step out late in the night for a midnight buffet to OHRIS. Mr. Restless was in his full spirits even before he had gulped down a single drop of spirit. He wanted to 'fly' on his bike. You tend get that feeling once you cant thrash other people's Facebook walls enough. To compensate for the shortfall in the virtual space, he was trying to make it up by talking trash on the streets.

Mr. Zorro was feeling the Latino heat so started driving real fast on his bike. Ms. Nimbu Paani had to constantly stretch out her hand to create some Aerodynamic resistance and reduce the speed of the bike. Sir Punter Pandey was thoroughly enjoying his bike ride, so did his pillion rider Mr. Vibhor. At one point they bonded so well that they were doing "Yeh dosti" (Sholay) steps on their bike. After their superlative performance you can now call the song "Yeh Dostana". Mr. Vijay Ramakrishnan decided to be the Mr. TwentyTun for the night but our Daroga Chacha in Khadi uniform did not seem to be appreciative of it. So they fined him Rs. 200 /-

Soon we were at the OHRIS. But the place was full and we were hungry so we decided to get into the buffet and eat standing. Mr. Nitin Vishwas and I didnt even bother taking the plates. We started to sample stright out of the buffet stand using just our forks. Mr. Rangeen, however, didnt have anything as OHRIS did not have anything "Namkeen" for this "Shaukeen". He also faced some serious issues with the manager who tried to woo Mr. Rangeen with a bowl of vegetable biryani. And there was no Hari Manjari aka Beero (Beer + Paro) to save him from another Vaishi Dareenda ! So stepped in the Ace photographer Nitin. Mr. Nitin Vishwas had his Value engineered L&T Cranes come and pick up the manager and put him in the thrash box. Mr. Rangeen had been saved again ! Nitin Vishwas's trip to the toilet had enlightened him as to what to expect in this place.

Mr. Punter Pandey was sensing that some Gabbar Singh was at work at OHRIS and would have put some Jhulab ki Goli in his food. This was why he was thinking thrice before every morsel that he ate (which included smelling the dish). Vibhor could see only Rajnikant ice-creams (a hyper-tall slabs of ice-cream with all sorts of flavours). He told the waiter "Enna Rascala, I having the spoon ! Do you having the ice-cream? If nobody cant ... Vibhorkant " Looking at the ambience, Niranjan thought he was at McDonalds, Sydney. So he started ordering Aussie dishes ! But all he got was blank stares and puzzled looks. We also came to know how YouTube has the cool and funny videos of common people. We got a live demo from Sreejita who used her charm over the staff there. They were dazed and feeling drunk (because Sree ke aankhon mein tha nasha). Its only when you are dazed or drunk you do really funny (read stupid) stuff.

Shouvik didnt speak much as he constantly had his mouth stuffed with a different kind of Biryani every 5 minutes. Anyways since he couldnt manage the 'diversity' that he so badly needed, he kept his mouth shut lest he attract any undue comments / taunts from the "Diversity-starved". Chote Sarkar, we now know what your next poem is likely to be. A sample extract will read as:

Mr. Restless to the left. Mr. Vishwas to the right

Yesterday I missed the ladies, Today I am gonna fight.

Soon we wound up. The people in the Chaturvedi Benz thought that this was the golden opportunity to get rid of Mr. Restless as well as me in one go since both of us were on the same bike and didnt know the way back. But their strategy had a loophole. They didnt count on Mr. Punter Pandey & Mr. Vibhor also getting lost and managing to find us. What luck ! So all of us managed to return back to the Campus. Nature's law buddy : Garbage Out, Garbage In !

Poison Night & ISB Vellapanti Summit

2009-04-24T15:30:00.008+05:30

If you thought that ISBians only knew how to study hard, think again, they party harder and have the most stimulating discussions known to humanity.

The other night a significant number of us decided to venture out of the Campus in search of some nocturnal pleasures before the Core term grind hit us. We had planned to go to COCO's in Jubilee Hills for a awesome night out. The place 'rocked' in the sense that the seating area was full of Rocks, pebbles and gravels. ISB truly rocks. I could see Section G guys / gals putting some of the rocks in their pockets. Parag D seemed to have brought his laptop bag only for that. As you might have guessed he was yet to get over the 'ISB Rocks' joke that his section had performed on Talent Nite. Hope he is at peace now.

Reetu seemed to be very interested in the guy who was playing the music that evening. She was so smitten that she saw "Strawberries" everywhere. She now wanted to be a Strawberry farmer. Sindhu seemed to have put management to the back of the mind while she took census of all the sloppy and stingy people she saw. Hope she could get the count right in the dark. Rachita was there too though I havent seen her for a long long time and even this evening couldnt see her because it was too dark. But yes I heard her atleast if thats any consolation. In no time the place was full, in fact it was so crowded that Aviral & Neha couldnt even get down from their car downstairs and had to go back to the campus and drink away the sorrows in the comforts of their plush mansion on the ISB campus. So much for our management skills. I hear that back at their place, Nitin Vishwas got tipsy and wanted to shoot some pictures. Since he (as usual) didnt have his camera along with him decided to get innovative. Dont know how that went.

Back there at the Jubilee Hills, the inevitable happened and the whole gang split into multiple small groups. Our small group consisting of Ashwin Rambo, Hardik Rangeen, Hari Manjari, Lisa (pronounced as Lease-aaaa not Lee-zaaa), Mr. Class of TwentyTun Rishi (Doctor has asked him to drink Beer instead of water), 'Mobile' Innu (I always see her with the mobile glued to her ear ! Poor thing ! Who must have done this to her ? Cant have happened by birth !), Charlie's three married angels - Spriha, Soniya and Malavika, Kheer-ranjha Manish, Fluffy Ghosh and our own home-grown Jigniya Shah headed to "Poison" the pub. Being "ISB" definitely has its advantages in the outside world. The pub was not allowing any stag entry but waived off the requirement if you are Mr. ISB. So there we were ! But as soon as they saw me and Jiggy enter they immediately put up a warning sign on the dance floor.

At the pub there were other people too. One of the guys started hitting on Hardik. Hardik being very much the "straight" guy was feeling too awkward and embrassed. Thats were Hari Manjari stepped in with her Kung Fu credentials and what followed was an intense dishum-dishum Kung Fu panda style. Just when Manjari was losing the plot, the Shahs (Abhi & Jiggy) & Zorro started doing the latino-jiggy dance (Gujju freestyle) which distracted the other guy which was when Manjari landed the killer kick - straight to the jaw. The guy had to be admitted to Apollo. Manjari had won but not without paying a price - the final kick to the jaw landed very weirdly which resulted in major damages to her feet. The Doctor prescribed her to use the local Ferrari. She went for the driver's test but failed miserably. So they handed her a Learner's license and an ambassador instead of the coveted Ferrari. Last heard she was taking lessons from Tanya Schumacher.

Today at Lunch we had the flagship ISB Vellapanti Summit outside 'The Cafe'. We had a Pav Bhaji fest on the table thanks to the foresight of Mr. TwentyTun. Rangeen used some of the Statistical tools that he was taught in class and combined it with some Quant funda given by Shouvik to come up with a magic order of 'extra' Pav. So if any of these guys are in your study group and have a case-study to do then do not trust these specific skills-sets that there outstanding students of ISB have. We also had Mr. Ashwin Rambo who has hit the gym so hard that he has grown muscles even on his ear lobes. Ms. Lisa (refer to pronounciation above & who was temporarily engaged to Mr. Mimoh ) was arguing as to how great food in Kolkata was compared to Mumbai. But she missed the irony that the Mumbaikars sitting on the table were looking well-fed while she was the only one who looked starved. I guess she must have only tasted the great Kolkata food but never eaten it.

Mr. Pankaj Poddar seemed to be in interrogatory mode. He wanted names and he wanted them fast. He was looking for those who had mailed the Core term Profs with their queries. The punishment in store is nothing less than capital. So all you loons who are guilty of this, this is your chance to run away as far as possible and hide yourself in the jungles because Mr. Poddar is coming to get you. This is the CLUB that you are most like to get.

The summit had to come to an premature end as the second half classes were about to begin.

Section Gyan : B

2009-04-23T14:50:00.007+05:30

579 people cannot be taught together under the same roof unless ofcourse you want a parallel Parliament. Since ISB comes across to me as a peace-loving institute they have divided us into 8 sections lettered from "A" to "H". I was put in B.

Human beings like fighting for their identity and like to fight others for establishing the supremacy of their identity. So to spice up the life at ISB each section tries to create a identity of its own : Section Chants, Mascots etc. To establish their supremacy they have Section Points. In short its a adrenaline junkie's paradise. And things get only better if you have 579 capable and enthusiastic junta.

We also had a Section Gyan session by the Alums. To break the ice we had a intro session where we need to give our name, an adjective & wackiest incident. A lot of interesting introductions came out the session. We had a Mr. XYZ who introduced himself as "The Game" XYZ but ended up pronouncing it as "The Gay" XYZ. When you do that in front of 75 smart people, you are bound to get smart-alec jokes. But he only compunded his misery when he narrated his wackiest incident wherein he had hit on a 'cute' Sardar. Before he could further dig his grave he was made to sit down. We also had Ms. McKakesy who has the talent to cut any given cake into numerous equal pieces. Adding colour to the whole introduction we also had Mr. Rangeen doing it his style. He was also courteous enough to acknowledge my role in publicizing his "Rangeen" lifestyle. Lady M keeping in tune with her mysterious ways revealed that she got her Espionage training by swimming in the gutter. Similarly there was one more lady who narrated her Dharavi experience where she earned her first fifty bucks after which she saw a lucrative career in that but lacked an MBA degree to pursue it. The stories are endless.

Section Chants hardly took any time. After some initial resistance, we decided to stick to our legacy Chant "B de patte, Chak de fatte !" which we felt was growing on us by the minute. We ended the session by cutting the cake in advance celebrations of a chap's birthday. Ms. McKakesy did the honours by cutting the cakes into equal pieces after our poor chap had it smeared on his face. We ended the session by chanting the legacy chant. And alums were graceful enough to remind us about the ego behind the section points.

The other section chants were as follows:

1. A - Aala re aala 'A' aala (Aala in Marathi is coming but they have no clue as to where they are even going)

2. C - Sec C (pronounces Sexy) - and thats not cliche ?

3. D - Go D Go D (but specify where to )

4. E - Rock E (they love dogs ! Rocky, Moti etc etc )

5. F - 4-3-2-1 Section F is number one (most innovative one)

6. G - Eh G oh G , here we go ji (again a confused aatma ki pukaar)

7. H - H H Hurray !! (Their mamma's must be proud of them)

The war for Section Points was on !

In the beginning

2009-04-22T14:48:00.001+05:30

One in a new crowd of beautiful people. Is this one like any other random bunch? Despite the selection criteria, are there just one of every kind anyway - a representative for every philosophy of life, each with a different answer to the same question? It has always been so till now and I suspect it will be even here.

There isn’t much one can say having known people only for a few days. But impressions are being formed in every mind. There are more crowds than loners but some crowds seem lonely too, their conversation so forced that it radiates desperation.

Will there be tolerance for those who don’t feel the need for speed? Or will it be a cruel race to the finish line, destroying hope and will in the process? Will anyone hate the time to come, realizing this isn't the right fit - that the dream itself was false, though they made it come true.

There is so much noise all around. So many vying for attention. So many trying new things – will they like who they become? A classmate commented that things seemed so plastic and everyone seems so nice. Are they? Every logic presented and its completely opposite argument seems perfectly reasonable to me now.

Will the smiles be genuine always? Will conversations be born out of interest? Will we pat each other on the back and pull each other up to the mark? Or will that be too heavy a burden and all we can do is to try and get there ourselves?

What will it be in the end?

ISB - The time that flew by….

2009-04-22T11:25:00.001+05:30

Finally a chance to sit at my lappy and blog. Nice nostalgic feeling. A little difference is that this time I am writing from a class rather than my workplace. Some habits never change :P. ~10 days at campus and we all have realized that there is storm that’s awaiting for us. The current week is perhaps the lightest in the foreseeable future. Few posts have been written by fellow classmates on different activities till w and I just intend to capture a brief snapshot of what all went by till now. Given the sheer amount of information shared and activities that happened, I would not be surprised if I just end up writing less than less than 10% of the whole story.

Registration Day
It all started on 11th April. Around 600 people burst into ISB Campus. Numerous dreams turned true. I checked into my room & awww welll, Awesome was the word I said. Then, the Recreation center and we all got out first taste of ISB life – A huge long circled LINE!! What the heck, do I have stand here for 2 hours. But then it was enticing to stand in that line and talk to all new people around. Networking, you know! Registration day went by with further hiccups and was soon over. Late in the evening, Dean addressed the Class of 2010 and gave an inspiring speech. The day concluded there.

Orientation Week – The Week that went by…..
It’s cruel to categorize this thing into a week. Tell me, how the heck can you fit in the following in one week:

25+ different presentations
Treasure Hunt Competitions
Club Meetings and Informal Sessions
4 parties that last whole night long
Beer Guzzling competitions
Talent Night Competitions
Team Building Activities
Case Studies and our first introduction to Class Participation (CP), Arbit CP & Desperate CP :P
Alumni Gyan Sessions
Speaker Series
Section Gyan
100s of Section chants – ROCK – EEEEEEEEE!!
That Damm “Networking” with 600+ people

Something is chronologically wrong with it. The activities in the whole week along with introducing yourself 50+ times a day, sometimes to the same person with whom you shared your contact info sometime back, was one of the finest experiences of my life till now. Of course this also led to a consensus that “Networking” is most abused word on campus. Refer to SAI’s post below. (If any of your friend just joined ISB Class of 2010, call him/her up and mention Networking somewhere. You will feel it from his/her response :P). On a serious note, I have learnt that ISB you are in constant mode of sacrifice. You like something, you do it. Don’t just hope to be everywhere. As a part of talent night competition we have prepared a pictorial prezo on this week and I shall soon be uploading the same on youtube.

Pre – Term - Here we are now!

Acads are picking up in the current week. Most of us are in hangover of the O’ Week and we soon realize our Accounting prof. is already done with Balance Sheet concepts and we have an assignment at hand. That’s the pace we got to get used to now. I have taken Business Stats and Accounting. Here is my take on

Accounting: - The class and the professor are pretty cool. Pretty good subject to learn and I am pretty happy with my decision to take this course.

Business Stats:- There are few things to pick up that may possibly be used in future. Further, the class gives people more opportunities to "Network :P“

Today, I am looking forward for the first CEO speech on campus – something I was looking forward to at ISB – Mr. Lloyd Blankfein from Goldman Sachs. I will update soon on the same. That’s all for now. The best I could succinctly capture. It’s impossible to pen down the spirit, the euphoria, the budding aspirations, and the insights floating around. You got to be at ISB to catch that. That’s why ISB… ROCKS!!!!!

Of dunkings, ADs and drunken orgies

2009-04-22T10:51:00.008+05:30

ADs? Huh? What are ADs you say? With people being overwhelmed with so many abbreviations over the last 10 days what with so many clubs/initiatives and all, heres another one I discovered yesterday night.

AD = Arbit Dunking

Dunkings are a long established tradition and form an integral part of life at ISB. Many celebrations end with a dunking in the pool, with a dunk on birthdays being mandatory of course. Section E had one such dunking yesterday, with many people from E and sections as well turning up to wish the birthday girl. To her credit, she was a sport and volunteered to be dunked, THRICE! The birthday girl was followed into the pool by her cousin whos co-incidentally in the same batch.
While this was all well and fine, here is where the fun started. A call went up for her study group, but none were found. And this is where AD comes in. How this works is: Someone (anyone?) shouts a name from the back. If sufficiently popular, the chant goes up, and before the person can even realise whats happening, his belt/shoes/wallet/cell are off and hes being swung by four people till.....................

SPLASH!

P.S., who had become the first victim of AD the last time, was nowhere to be found! The section was apparently so enthu about the whole thing that 2 more people ended up being dunked. Some of those doing the actual swinging/dunking were even found trying to 'network' with the guy they had just dunked without even knowing who it was :P
It was a fun night overall. The presence of 3 cakes ensured that there was enough to go around both for smearing as well as for eating. Some of the dunked guys were later seen trying to get others into the pool (they no longer have anything to lose ;)) as well.

EXTRA CAKE!!!!!!!

All in all a very fun night. On the way back I was informed that a wild boar and even a monkey had been spotted in the student villages. I dont know whether its a part of the 'diversity' thing we have going on here or whether its just a story started by guys to be able to walk girls home :P

This being my first post on the mmx blog, please skip/ignore any errors in convention I may have made. Even better, mail me and let me know about it! Till next time.....

PS: For those looking for stuff on the 'drunken orgies', that was just to get the page hits up :P

What's in a name?

2009-04-22T03:34:00.003+05:30

Me: Hi! Have we met? I am Sai.
Him: Abe Sai... Doon kya kaan ke neeche ek...

I've had enough of this and I can't even recall how many times I've got myself into soup this way. It's well established across all 2010 students that I am a retard when it comes to remembering names and faces. (I hope I am not classified as a retard in other areas). After a lot of effort, I think I can now barely recognize my study-group-mates. Forget about all the 579 students, I think it would be a great achievement for me if I can recall the names of everyone in my section.

Take a look at this interesting data for the class of 2010 - This analysis was inspired by my statistics pre-term course.

5 Abhinavs
11 Abhisheks
5 Adityas
9 Amits
12 Gauravs
6 Rahuls
6 Rohits
11 Saurabhs (including 1 Sorabh)
6 Swethas (and we have multiple spellings to deal with)
9 Viveks

These results are staggering and If I have my Stats concepts right, the mode of this population is ‘Gaurav’. Please note that I did not include many names that were shared by four people and less.

How do I deal with this? I’ve been mugging up the photo-directory of all students circulated to us yesterday. But I obviously didn’t get anywhere.

Is this some nasty joke played by all parents on this pour soul of mine? Parents go through a lot of effort in giving their children the best childhood they can provide. I am sure everybody agrees it involves creative thinking. Then why oh why did they cut-down on their creative juices when it’s time to name their precious kid? Why did they do this to me?

An advice to future parents though... name your kids one of the above, and the probability of them making it to ISB will be dramatically increased!

I intend to register for an “Independent study” to figure out the best way to remember 579 names. Is there anyone out there who wants to join me in this study?

No. I can’t recall your name…

Orientation Blues

2009-04-22T01:50:00.000+05:30

As I stand here and begin to speak
I can feel my knees growing weak.
It isnt stage fright, it isnt arthritis,
It’s this wretched little verse, I hope you like this.

Engineers and acountants, doctors and lawyers,
Running around for treasure, like little Tom Sawyers.
Was that a cute sight? I really wouldn’t know.
I was busy getting sunburnt, like a little Jamaican ‘bro.

I’m already four shades darker, just like the rest of you.
My mother would’ve cried, if only mama knew.
They call this Orientation Week? Felt more like boot camp,
My body’s been steamrolled, and armpit’s still damp.

Queues to the left of me, queues to the right.
I didn’t get Goel’s chicken yesterday, today I’ll fight.
A queue for coffee, a coffee in the loo,
And while my bladder’s on overdrive, I’, saying: “Nice to meet you.”

Sombre, serious, funny guys, now they’re all friends of mine,
As for the ladies, I have to admit, they’re really, really fine.
It’s been a tough week, will I find what I seek, when it’s time to pull up my socks?
Recession, regression, standard deviation notwithstanding, ISB well and truly rocks.

'O'-Week : Treasure Hunt and Party no. 1

2009-04-20T14:14:00.008+05:30

April 12th

Today was Day 1 of what History would remember as an endless week. We had been divided on Sectional lines and to ensure that there was no dearth in motivation we were enticed by the whole notion of Section points.

The first half of the day was full of powerpoint presentations by whole lot of people. For people like me who are not used to sitting at one place for long, this was a welcome practice session. Also I also saw a practical demonstration of all possible CPs. One of them was so shitty that people gave him a standing ovation at the end of it. I now propose that we put up the following sign outside every lecture theatre.

Post-Lunch session we had the treasure hunt. I got to meet my study group which needless to say consisted of diversity - a ISB hallmark. We had a CA from World bank, Science honours graduate working in Sales & Marketing at HUL & an Engineer from Tata Bluescope Steel. The fifth member of the group was missing. But I am sure he would only add diversity.

Well the CA and me got along well and made a awesome plan. Basically I would spare him the PJs and he would in turn help me take over the world. How ? Well he works in the loan disbursement department and for those of you who had your Introductory Accounting class would know Survival = Cash and for nations across the world Cash = World Bank loan money. So by controlling loans I will indirectly have control over these hapless nations. Tips learnt from UBI should be helpful I guess !

Soon we were joined by the corresponding A - Batch. Of them Nikhil seemed to be very eager as he had some serious Karma to wash off for the pandemonium he caused on Pagal guy with his Doc Update theory. He stood on his head for quite sometime hoping that the blood gushing down to his head would wash off the memories. Diganta seemed to be real thirsty as he gulped down that big bottle of Kingfisher Beer at one of the tasks in one shot. No wonder he completed all the other tasks in high spirits. I guess Manas was hoping that he atleast share a sip. Atleast being a CA he had accounted for it. Pallavi was worried that this would really affect her daily scheduled wine-tasting sessions and that the beer would spoil the taste. Aastha Bajaj spent the entire treasure hunt wishing she was connected to the Bajajs' of Bajaj Auto which would have helped us commute from one corner of the campus to another faster and will less fatigue. Vishakha knew quite a few things around the campus thanks to her husband who showed her all the possible hideouts just in case we got attacked by the Nazis. Preeti was so fed up of me that she went off with my T-shirt after I got dunked in the pool. I walked topless from the Recreation centre to my SV showing off my 6-in-1 pack abs and natural biceps. One of the women who was probably enjoying her evening walk (till then) puked too.

The Treasure hunt also saw the birth of ISB's very own Michelle Schumacherni in rather unfortunate circumstances though. Others watched in daze while the Local ferrari vroomed around the campus. To add the nitro boost, most people seemed more interested in the Ferrari than the injured driver.

After I reached my SV I quickly took a refreshing shower and headed to Aviral's plush flat (disguised as a studio apartment) where we were blessed with the presence of quite a few people. Niranjan - the youngest refree in a Olympic final - told us that he took to refreeing as he wanted officiate women's beach volleyballs and apply sun tan on the players. But the governing body tricked him into the Olympics. Mr. Natwark Lal aka Shishir shared with us that adding 300 ml of water to 100 ml of Orange juice and then having a biscuit dipped in it really enhances Restlessness. Jay decided to act like those toys which did something when you pulled on a string. So whenever someone pulled his leg, he would simply laugh. After seeing the relentless slaughter around her, Saroni quickly figured out the best possible strategy was stay put and stay quiet. Ashwin had shared on numerous times that he wanted to do different things on the campus but the only different thing he did in the evening was to switch from Diet Coke to Appy Fizz. Soon we headed to the party.

There was a queue here too - this time at the Booze counter but guess who beat the queue and was there before anybody else - Resltess Fish. Later that evening even I went to the Bartender and asked him for a Coke - Large and 'On the Rocks' which would explain why he didnt serve me again the entire evening. Later I caught hold of another bartender and asked him for a Large Coke which I had Neat. Pankaj Poddar couldnt see all this, he so wished that he went blind before he could even see any of this. I guess fortune only favours the brave and not the comedians. There were lot of people on the dance party. At one point there were so many people on the dance floor that I could hear "Sorry" more than the music. Whoever shaked a leg or waved his hand hit about 4 people (atleast). I feel sorry for those who got hit below the belt. But that didnt down the spirits. Blow after blow people were up, dancing more intense than ever. By about 4.30 am quite a significant number of people left before the sunrise caught and burnt them. A few people like me were up for the challenge though. We wanted to beat the 6.30 am record mark made by Co2009.

We danced but the DJ packed up by 6am just after sunrise. But we were 6 of us who were giving company to each other. First we had the extremely talented (and drunk) Adarsh demonstrating his awesome singing talent. By the time he was done it was 6.20am and now people were beginning to feel sleepy. But I saved the morning by chipping with a few PJs which knocked the sleep out of Bharadwaj R, Nikethana & Preeti Sood. I am sure they would have nightmares when they would have caught up with sleep. Shishir was too seasoned and too drunk for the PJs to hit him. He was extremely determined to beat the 6.30am mark. And when we crossed it he messaged Jacob (Alum - Co2009) that the record was now beaten. We finally split at 7am. Later we came to know that there were section points for being the Last Man standing. So hurray ! I had just got the opening points for my Section viz. B.

There were ample number of indicators to tell everyone that year ahead was going to one hell of a roller coaster ride ! So are you ready to begin ?

'O' - Week: Day Zero @ Ground Zero

2009-04-19T15:53:00.010+05:30

Well Ladies and gentleman, the cat is finally out of the bag ! 570 people have become The ISB on April 11th. To ensure the smooth transition from Joblessness to Timelessness we have the Orientation week aka 'O'-week wherein the outgoing class (Class of 2009) ushers in the new class (Class of 2010 i.e us) through a varied range of activities.

Let me take you through the week in my Ishtyle:

April 11th

This was the beginning of welcome ceremony @ ISB. I checked into my SV viz. SV4 [latest erection on campus] and headed to the recreation centre. After finishing through with the well-structured process I was finally registered as ISB student at 11am. April 11th also saw the birth of the infamous Queuing theory i.e. where there is a will there is a way and where there is a way there is a que ! To an outsider it looked like the que for Indian Idol auditions but when 600 people are registering on a single day you gotta expect a que. One of the que jumpers at the bank loan counter nearly got clobbered ! In fact there was a huge queue outside the toilets as well.

In the evening we had the Dean's address who declared us as the ISB. Mr. Restless got excited and even before he realized he had started shaking a leg. Then we had the welcome dinner. Again a Que. But me being me preferred to hit the desert counter and boy didnt the Carrot Halwa justify my 'strategy'. As for the dinner, I must not have been particularly hungry as I went in the Dinner line but came out with only the Papad in my plate. The evening also saw a lot of people who were plain attention seekers choosing to distract rather than attract attention.

Meanwhile Saurabh Goyal walked upto me but I let him come close after I was sure he wasnt carrying a Fork to stab me after what I had done to him on Yahoo Groups ! During the entire course of the evening I caught up with a lot of people whom I had traumatized in Mumbai or over Yahoo groups or Facebook. Shouvik understood the nuances of missing a train when one's carrying a huge baggage. Hardik was out looking for people he had bonded / challenged in the past months. Shishir was wondering as to where and how he can go about in his new role as Mr. Natwork Lal.

Colonel Sandeep Muthoot was wondering as to how he could hide his paunch. Ashwin was flaggergasted to not see a counter for diet coke. Jay Shah was elated on learning that ISB already had a wine club but that Khushi turned into a Gham when he found out that places near ISB didnt serve wine. PK (after shedding the multi-layer personality driven clothes he wore to the airport in the morning) was wondering if it was fate that put him in SV1 where there is no 'diversity' that he sought.

Aishwarya seemed to be in high spirits, afterall it was the beginning of no-stalking days in her life. Mamta aka Lady M was back to her mysterious ways while Pranjal double checked anything I offered her (water, advice and jokes) since she didnt want history of 'Vodka' to repeat itself. Parag D (or now Swamy D) as usual was hunting for his D-spot where he could park his ass and dive away from wine, women and glory. Rishi was his usual self, Bollywood hunk, looking down to run down any idiot or trouble maker with his little Romeo. Siddharth Negandhi was trying to distinguish himself from all the other Siddharths through Negandhigiri. Pruthvi was contemplating the whole evening whether to eat the salad first or the Papad which I solved by eating the Papad off his plate.

After that we had a mini-booze party in front of SV3 and no prizes for guessing which Restless character was the order taker. Sai Pondalur was trying real hard to get an image-makeover from a white-underwear hater cum Shishir basher. He ended up pitching his tent outside SV3. Saroni (pronounced as Sha-roni) decided to a honorary engineer and demonstrate entropy (chaos and restlessness) i.e. she was so hyper-excited about her new independent life that I doubt if she could manage to fall asleep that night. Soon a lot of people joined in but I was feeling too tired so decided to call it a day. Diet Coke Keshto Ashwin decided to give me company since we lived in the same SV.

It was a long and tiring day for sure but not without the usual share of thrills and frills. An exciting year awaited us !

NEXT: Treasure Hunt and the First Party !

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H

2009-04-17T00:16:00.003+05:30

After reading through the countless (and exceedingly hilarious) X.0 versions of Mumbai meets I was almost hoping to walk into chants of "Smack-Deee... Smack D" as I would enter the campus. Is it surprising then dear watson that the bloke turned out to be the most gentle, and chweet and chubby guys you'd ever come across !! Or maybe my opinion may change yet again as he unravels over the next few weeks.
Time sure flies. Once upon a not-so-distant time we were all in the same boat with the same "fears and expectations", but today how mercilessly the world has divided us into sections and study groups gunning for each other's necks (healthy competition ? I don't think so). And all that to what avail ? When the result is such a foregone conclusion - 4-3-2-1, section F is number 1 - and yet it is so sad to see 7 other sections trying to change the inevitable.
For the casual reader who might stray into these fjords someday, Co2010 is "divided" into 8 sections creatively labelled A to H. We have our chants (of which the best of-course is 4-3-2-1, section F is number 1 !!) and our traditions (sans G and H of course which are NK(s)OTB)
We fight in the fields chasing balls, we fight in the khemka audi over quizzes and we fight over all forms of art trying to prove we (section {Xi}) are the best...
Its been a joyride so far. After this O-week, there is a week of pre-term, then 6 weeks of term and then another 7 such terms. Going by the "gyan" that's been downloaded onto us in these 6 days, we would all probably hate the fact that the earth takes just 24 hours for a full rotation over the next one year !!
anyways, a big disclaimer for all reading this blog - you can never get the full picture of what ISB is just by reading blogs; coz people who really do the cool stuff on campus, very rarely blog ! So only hope for all you non-ISBians out there is to try and get to ISB campus, preferably as a full time student, and experience the zing from within.
More, later... the light in my student village (4) has already gone on-and-off 4 times and I want to be deep in sleep by the time it happens for the 5th time !! (teething troubles they say, duh !!)

ISB meet at "God only knows where"

2009-04-03T15:42:00.005+05:30

One of the million mottos of ISB-MMX is this

A bloggers words will not go in vain.

Hari's words did not go in vain. An ISB meet has to happen at "God only knows where else" and that's exactly what happened on April 1st, a day before the blog-post was written.

Subhen and I met up at Shirdi, a place that's a perfect fit for the adjective God only knows where. After several discussions over email and phone, we arranged to take up the challenge of putting faces to names. Subhen had landed from Singapore along with his family and 110kg of "goodies". I was back from the US a month ago, and chilling out in the hot Hyderabad sun. We couldn't think of a better place to meet up than Shirdi. Although we didn't discuss sensitive topics like what our initial impressions at seeing each other were, we did discuss quite a bit about a wide range of topics ranging from the weather at Singapore to the concerts I've been to in the US.

In other news, we're got exactly one more week to kill before we all touch-down on the ISB tarmac in our favorite business jets. And hopefully, we'll have something to talk about in a year's time from now.

The Mysore ISB Meet

2009-04-02T13:38:00.002+05:30

Turns out that there have been consistent meets happening on a periodic basis among the admits of the class of 2010, primarily because they want to know more and interact substantially with their peers who will be spending a whole year with them, and secondly and more importantly because everyone is absolutely jobless.

Yes, you can't continue working till the eleventh hour, shut off your monitor, hand in your ID card and walk straight to the airport / train station with your baggage and hit the ground running in Hyderabad. Or maybe you can, since I speak for mere mortals such as yours truly. I've discovered lots of crazy strange things about the fun interesting people here and I wouldn't rule out people who might conform to this scenario that I just dished out.

Anyway, for those not part of the class of 2010 reading this blog hoping you can make it, there is some hope if you are from a small /medium city as well, and your application will not be rejected because you're not cosmopolitan enough. Do take care, however, not to have a couple of cosmopolitans before you head for interview, in any case.

So, the ISB junta in Mysore decided to have a meet-up, to mirror the ones that their fellow batchmates were having in places like New York, Singapore, New Delhi, Old Delhi, Mumbai, Navi Mumbai, Bangalore, Chennai, Hyderabad and God only knows where else.

However, for the sake of brevity, the Mysoreans chose not to spam the already flooded yahoo group with more garbled mails, and hence phone was the chosen medium of contact. Zero fanfare was the motto of this ecclectic group of people.

Of course, it is relevant here to mention that the ISB Mysore meet comprised of two people, Nitin Vishwas and yours truly, even though we've masterfully managed to infiltrate the Mumbai / Bangalore / Pune groups on occasion just for kicks.

As is the norm in every meeting, we did discuss loans, laptops and course work for exactly 33 seconds, but some of it was drowned out since I was sneezing. The rest of the evening was spent in discussing cocktails and movies and music and books and travel, basically all the things we are going to miss a lot when we're on campus.

If there are people from around Mysore who want to hold another meet-up here, please do drop in a mail to both Nitin and me, and we'll make sure we're there in a jiffy. Temporary unemployment does have its advantages you see.

Pre-Term Assessment Tests and Other Horror Stories

2009-03-26T20:59:00.001+05:30

On March 25th, 500-odd people all over the world heaved a collective sigh of relief, at the fact that the deadlines for taking tests in Quant, Business Stats and Financial Accounting to determine eligibility for pre-term courses came to an end.

There was no more room for procrastinating, and those that had to, took the tests and got them done with once and for all.

I was one such unlucky soul.

For most of us, the last exam we'd have taken (not counting our numerous attempts at CAT, XAT, GMAT and so on) would have been the last paper in undergrad school.

The horrifying prospect of taking a test thereafter to examine one's abilities left me sweating profusely with nervousness.

At 9 PM on 25th March, I sat in front of my PC with a pen and notebook in hand, and began solving the assessment tests in earnest. Here is how I fared:

Quantitative Methods: Being an engineer didn't help too much, but having listened to what was told in class 11 and 12 most certainly did. Fourty objective type questions later, this is what appeared on my screen.

"Your performance at quant was simply mindblowing, and you needn't spend INR 5000 on taking the pre-terms. Spend it wisely on buying another suit and improving your appearance, you most certainly need it. You are awesome."

"I am modest too, you idiot", I grimaced, as I then plodded onward to the next test.

Business Statistics: Class 11 and 12 did help to a certain extent, as did class 10, but there were fundas here that made me get the 'cow look' on a regular basis. The last time I threw a profusion of cow looks was when I was introduced to couter-intuitive corporate jargon.

"You're decent at Stats", read the report, "but we'd rather you not while away your time drinking away to glory in your second week on campus, and attend classes for this subject instead. Kapish?"

Financial Accounting:
I don't even remember the questions for this one, for all I did was to select true in each question and then click submit.

"You are a retard. No question about that. Even a donkey knows more Fin. Acc. than you do, and I'm surprised you made it to ISB. It was a lucky fluke, nothing else. Be grateful you have paid the deposit money and we can't kick you out, but we'll be watching you."

And so it goes. Such is life. There are no more horror stories, unless you count my watching 13B a couple of days ago. Please don't watch it even if someone pays you money to do so.

Alea Jacta Est, et al.

Heroes !

2009-03-26T15:12:00.020+05:30

"A superhero (sometimes rendered super-hero or super hero) is a person of unprecedented physical prowess dedicated to act of derring-do in the public interest."

EPISODE 1: The rise of Smack D

I was just another mortal walking on the planet till November 20. Post Nov 20th something had changed though. Everyday I fought with myself intenally to try and understand what had changed but came up with blank answers. My friends saw no change in me. I was finally beginning to give up and think that all was as it was before.

I couldnt figure out what and why till early February, sometime around Valentine's day. As I walked past 'Band Stand' trying to figure out the way ahead in life I saw two guys 'Restless' and' Rangeen' sitting by the rocks and whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears. India had been liberated : I thought. But turns out things are not the way they seemed. 'Restless' saw me and immediately signalled something to 'Rangeen'.

Both came running to me and said "We have been expecting you. You are the chosen one." Confused I yelled sarcastically "Chosen for heading the Homo-sapiens?". Rangeen said "Oh ! It seems you dont know. You have superpowers." Then Restless said "We are from the future and have a message for you". I said "And that would be ??". Both 'Restless' and 'Rangeen' together "Save the Rabbashankar. Save the World!". I said "What Bullshit?". To this both 'Restless' and 'Rangeen' transformed themselves into their true self. I was dumbstruck at the very sight.

Restless:

Rangeen came with two options:

And then they disappeared into thin air. It seemed too unbelievable. I said to myself "What superpowers? Who the hell is Rabbashankar? Must be a overdose of Lemon Iced Tea."

The Days ahead were spent wondering what happened that evening on Marine Drive. I sat on my balcony immersed in deep thought when I lost balance and fell off. In fear I had closed my eyes. A split second later when I opened my eyes I saw I could fly. Pinched myself hard and found that this was no dream. They were right ! Coming days I tried a variety of stuff like lifting some heavy objects etc. Could do all of that without breaking a sweat ! Now only the "Rabbashankar" puzzle was to be solved.

Now I wondered what would be a good alibi to hide my super powers. One of my tries:

* MMM = Macho Machine Man

Then I thought that I needed a very deep alibi to hide the truth. Accidentally I came across a quiz on the newly redesigned Facebook "What kind of a Woman are you?" and my result was "Action (Wo)Man". Eureka !! Now I knew the perfect alibi ! A Super-heroine ! Soon I was practicing my powers in my new costume.

EPISODE 2: LOOK ! THERE IS MY DESTINY

18th March 2009: Last of Mumbai ISB meets that I was going to attend. We had a visitor from Bangalore. When I went to her she was narrating a harrowing tale of a guy called StalkWalker (SW) who had been stalking her eversince the R1 admit.

She didnt know how to dodge him, he seemed to be omnipresent. Legend has it that even his parents have been trying to dodge him all these years but havent succeeded. In fact she had been attacked by him just before turning up for the meet. But the Karate Kittens protected her well against him. Three women is too difficult for anybody to handle at once. One could not help but feel sorry for this harassed soul. End of the story she introduced herself "Hi ! I am Cashwarya !" I said "... and your last name is ??". She said "RabbaShankar". I had the wind knocked out of my sails. Could this be my destiny? Was she the 'RabbaShankar' that 'Restless' and 'Rangeen' had told me about. Nevertheless it was on the back of my mind as I left Mumbai and flew to Mangalore.

EPISODE 3: STALK THE TALK WITH THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

24th March 2009: Rabbashankar and the Karate Kittens were going to Hyderabad aboard the Kacheguda Express.

I had my close eye on them as StalkWalker had promised make good his threat today. Three reasons:

The corridors of Kacheguda were dimly lit.
Stalkwalker's fantasy had always been to throw someone off a running train.
Karate Kittens were sound sleepers. (Even Tsunami wouldnt wake them)

And I was right ! Stalkwalker was there ! He managed to drug the Karate Kittens and then overwhelmed them leaving Rabbashankar to his mercy.

He then carried her off in the trolley as she was too heavy to be carried in his hands. I would have saved her at that point of time itself but nature had called me on my Motoming phone so I got held up.

Before the Stalkwalker made good his threat we exchanged Dishum-dishum .. solid ones ! He kept saying NOPE NOPE whenever we exchanged punches ! Right then we had 'Restless' and 'Rangeen' appear out of nowhere with a ridiculously smelly Fart ! This distracted Stalkwaler and thus one of my punches landed better than I had hoped for and Stalkwalker fell of the Train. Rabbashankar had been saved ! The World had been saved as Rabbashankar was the one who would start a Pani Puri stall at ISB which would save many a lives on the Campus!

That was not the end of Stalkwalker for sure. What new he has in store would be unravelled in the next one year on the ISB campus ! Come April 11th ... come witness the extraordinary !

EPILOGUE

20 years later at Rabbashankar house ---

Pune meet @ Sigree: Of ISB, IITs, IIMs and IBS

2009-03-23T17:54:00.005+05:30

The Pune ISB meet happened on a beautiful summer evening (the like of which can only be found in Pune) at Sigree. I walked in and found Jasnoor sitting alone at a table meant for about a dozen people – Manish seemed to be expecting a lot of female company (The solitary dame who attended seemed to belong more to ‘D’ company!). Manish, the guy who is trying to stick it to the man by buying a Macbook after years of selling IBM laptops, soon arrived. He seemed a little disconcerted at not seeing a certain someone at the table and even went out of the restaurant to check if that certain someone was waiting at the entrance. After this and numerous phone calls, he decided to end that love story (before it began) by starting a new one.

Presenting ‘Kheer-Ranjha’, where Mr. Manish Bage tries to drown his sorrows (in kheer?) by eating bowl after bowl of kheer throughout the evening.

Soon, Rishi and Vishant arrived and it looked like it would after all be a guys-only meet (which just prompted Manish to get more kheer). Vishant is a Tamil lad from Baroda who is currently working in Pune and knows Tamil and Gujarati, in addition to English and Hindi. He must have been confused about the language to use and hence was quiet most of the evening. He did say that though he himself did not drink alcohol, he liked to enjoy the sights of his drunken friends engaged in ‘high’ conversation. He said that while looking at me, which struck me as slightly odd.

Then entered the aforementioned solitary dame (who goes by the name of Malavika), who could not eat or drink what she liked because she was going through a ‘Art of Living Hell’ course. That must explain why she wanted to talk more about ISB Beat-up than ISB Meetup. Various individuals were ‘moved’ by her opinions on this topic.

Rishi: What is your favourite colour?
Lady M: Black and Blue. That is how I would like to turn my course organizers and some of the people on the ‘Class Of 2010’ Yahoo! Group.
Rishi: I like how you think (Moves away a little).

Lady M: Has anyone seen Gulaal? I loved it!
Jasnoor: I heard it’s really violent.
Lady M: Whats wrong with that? I like violence. Violence is good.
Jasnoor: Hmm (Moves away a little).

The wooden tables had a sunk-in barbeque with hot skewers which everyone picked up at critical junctures to make their point with the least resistance.

Rishi: The Jeep is the finest vehicle in the world.
Jasnoor: I think that it is subjective…
Rishi(picking up a hot skewer with smoking meat and vegetables for effect): The Jeep is THE finest freakin’ vehicle in the universe.
Jasnoor: I agree!

Finally Saurav, the guy who keeps forgetting that he is married, arrived. As a result of this affliction, he keeps getting a call from his wife every 14 minutes as a reminder that he is not single. (Although the fact is tattooed on his chest, she does it to save him the embarrassment of stripping to his waist every 14 minutes. A sign of true love, aww!)

After confirming that no one at the table was from IITs, people started giving their frank opinions about the venerable institutions. It seemed like a case of sour grapes for some, though.

Someone: This wine tastes like it has been made from sour grapes.
Someone else: That’s because its beer.
Of course, there was no such sour grape issue about the other great Indian B-school, the ICFAI Business School (IBS). And people were happy that they were going to ISB and not IBS (one person more than the others). Still, they are both Top-20 schools (yeah, right!).
(BusinessToday placed IBS in the Top 20 B-schools of the world in its April 1 edition a few years ago. This led to a spike in the number of applications to IBS that year and consequently the theme song for the school was titled ‘Fools rush in’).

As the barbeque feast progressed, the conversations started to take an interesting turn. Facebook users know that Rishi is souping up his jeep for Hyderabad. Manish decided to question him on this.

Manish(in between spoonfuls of kheer): What does ‘souping up’ mean?
Rishi: That means carrying soup packets to prepare on army kit stoves when you go ‘off-roading’.

Lady M saw us as clearly as 3D (‘Desperate’, ‘Deprived’ and ‘Depraved’ were the exact terms she used), and gave us Chota Chetans some advice. “Ditch the girls that like Salman. Get the ones that like John. You can’t go wrong!” Saurav (the Memento/Ghajini guy) started scribbling on the Polaroid photo of her that he had clicked earlier “My friend. Gives good dating advice.” Then his phone rang and he was seen scratching that off.

Throughout the evening, people gave various reasons for joining ISB. Some of the top ones are: “I joined ISB for rubbing it in my so-called friends’ faces”, “I joined ISB for the cheap alcohol” and “I joined ISB so that my mom can rub it in her so-called friends’ faces at the next kitty party”. I decided to join in this honest conversation by saying that “I joined ISB so that I can go to such meetups and write tell-all blogs about it”. And that seemed to break up the party really fast. Hopefully, people will still turn up for the next meet!

Calcutta 3 or the Fact vs Fiction Challenge

2009-03-21T22:30:00.003+05:30

What happens in Calcutta stays in Calcutta? Maybe not! Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you some highlights from Calcutta 3.0. Full marks for identifying fact from fiction.

1) The city was struck by bandhs. Inspite of that we ventured out to meet fellow ISBians. Such is our commitment to our classmates!

2) We Calcuttans are obviously deprived of sunlight. Why else would an open air poolside lounge be a possible venue at 11 am on a hot sultry day?

3) Speaking of restaurants and venues- we were promptly ushered into a corner. Then the restaurant forgot all about us and our hunger pangs for a good hour and a half.

4) Which suited us fine because we had a lot to talk about. Sample this: Vivek " Sometimes when I fill up a form, I have to stop and count whether I'm Jhunjhunwala or Jhunjhunjhunwala" It was Pallavi to the rescue with a great mathematical alternative.

5) Aditi did not rag Sreejita for almost forgetting her name for a bit. Specially since they'd met up for an hour and a half a day ago. Sreejita did not make matters worse by calling Kaushal, Gaurav throughmost of the meet. Any number of compliments about Aditi's funky eye wear did not placate her. Sreejita was made to repeat the names of everyone at the table.

6) By this point we'd ordered, our orders had been confused. Pallavi discovered Chocolate Milk Shakes and Chocolate Doughnuts are actually the same in the city. What's in the last name of a dish after all? We'd exchanged a lot of stories and named no names. But the merriment was shortlived. At this point, the waiters firmly offered to bring us our cheque and politely but firmly told us we should be on our way. It was a Saturday morning after all, surely potential managers should have a lot to do than just chatter away endlessly?

7) Not to be daunted, we just switched places. And voila! A change of location prompted a confession from Lisa. She's heartbroken that her birthday falls on the 29th of February and she won't be dunked in the swimming pool. Lisa loves swimming!

8) Meanwhile Innu's still mystified by whether Hyderabad or Calcutta is a better city for an ISB interview. We added to her confusion by introducing our Delhi interview experiences into the mix.

9) In the midst of all this, Charu got our undivided attention by telling us she can cook. There a traffic stoppers and there are conversation stoppers. This was one. After all, it's a handy fact, when we get tired of the wonders of Goel Dining Hall.

10) It's official. Calcutta doesn't need Facebook. Everyone's a networker by default. Within minutes of meeting we discovered, Kaushal, Innu and Vivek went to the same college, Lisa, Pallavi and Aditi went to school together. Sreejita, Aditi, Lisa, Innu and Kaushal had common friends. Kaushal and Vivek were related... ok. enough already! Rashmi was the only one spared all the networking. Charu too, but she just moved here. Give us a while and our network shall follow.

11) Shouvik zoomed in on his bike for a guest appearance.

12) Presenting Calcutta- poster city for women in business! The number of women at the meet far outnumbered the men.

13 ) Great fun was had by all! ( come on, there had to be one easy one, right? )

Mumbai 11.0

2009-03-19T21:45:00.012+05:30

Mumbai 11.0 started amidst much fanfare at The Tasting room, Lower Parel which was by the way not "Somewhere in the Phoenix Mills" ! So much for the poll !! We had quite a few new faces, most of which belonged to the female cult, about whom you would discover as we go on !

I went straight from Office so reached there much earlier than others (6.45pm to be exact). But one person still managed to beat me - Priya. She reached so early that it was time for her to go before anybody else came. So much for being the early bird ! Anyways she looked different from the first (and only) time I had seen her on Mumbai 1.0. She had grown her hair slightly. She opined that it was time to get a haircut, I begged to differ though.

As usual Ashwin, the Diet Coke Keshto, joined me. Flaunting his biceps he came in a red Swiss Tee. Soon others started pouring in. Sujata probably wanted to repent for winning the Best friend award so she came along with Shishir to boost his spirits ! Nitin Vishwas wanted to make a dramatic entry ! And boy didnt he? He walked right into the mini-fountain. Love blinds you but friendship? Sindhu, who was right behind, made a smart entry after Nitin Vishwas's famous "Walk on the water" ! The Karaoke (singer) lover Akshay Pai wasnt too late either !

We also had Pranjal Desai (female please) who came up with a award winning pickup line:

Pranjal: So are you married?

Me: *Blank* <> Not yet atleast

Pranjal: But I am !

Shruti (aka Shoozie coz her shoes are choozie) made a threatening entry.

Shoozie: Today you are going back with fewer teeth ! How dare you call me Navjot Sidhu?

Me: How the hell did you come to know that? I had lost a few teeth from Shishir's dentures but I had told noone about it !

Salome was probably the most tortured one of all ! As if remembering so many names on her first meet was easy, almost everybody she met was introducing themself as Shishir. On top of it she didnt even like the food. She spent the entire evening ordering take-out from another restaurant.

We also had a foreign import in our midst - Samyukta who had dark circles - all thanks to mis-information she received about ISB meets happening in some of the other cities. She spent two sleepless nights memorizing GMAT scores for Mumbai admits since she expected us to also play the memory game. For last minute revision she had written down the GMAT scores on a tissue paper. Her exams in childhood days had given her enough training on how to make chits !

The Mumbai meets seem to have really caught the attention of people in other cities. This time we had people visiting from Bangalore - Aishwarya Ravishankar ! And she literally swore that she saw PGK lurking around the corner !

She approached Nishank for help who vowed to fight Mr. PGK until the last drop of wine in Jay's glass ! In the meanwhile Janani was polishing her Taekwando skills while Rachita was training her on the different styles of self-defence she learnt on her incredible India tour ! Together they were gonna be the Karate kittens in ISB !

In the meanwhile PK had managed to walk into the meet. He seemed to be very interested in photography. The two females sitting on the next table will testify to this. He spent nearly 15 minutes with them. Shishir was as usual in his elements. He also got into the photography and seemed to take PK's pics from behind. When asked why he said "PK looks better from behind !" Parag D and Shouvik too had managed to join us. Shouvik had a relatively tough cutting lanes on the express highway.

In the meanwhile Parag D managed to do a Nitin Vishwas. He too walked straight into water. Our better half of the Hedge fund buddies Amit had come along with his wife. On their way Amit almost got robbed. Only his sound I-banking instincts managed to get him out of this one.

Shweta Divecha wouldnt give Shishir the number of the photographer who had taken her perfect picture because she like Shah Jahan had cut off the hands of that photographer. Akansha was there too but she would call Sharmaji every 5 minutes to check what he was doing. In case he was going to have an iota of fun in her absence, she would immediately head home and take 'corrective' action. Yakeen nahin? Sharmaji se poocho !

Poor restaurant ! They had a torrid time with us being there with all that noise. Infact to cancel our noise they tried to play loud music too ! But come hell or high water things were not gonna change.

From there we decided to go to Ghetto. Quite a few of us split from there while most carried over the action to Ghetto at midnight. We were joined by Delli-6 awardee and the oldest waiting ISBian-to-be Rishika (admit since R2 Class of 2009) ! The ultraviolet light inside the ghetto was just about right for some more action !

This was when I decided to play the little Vodka trick. I filled a glass of chilled water and took it around as if it was real Vodka. I offered Pranjal a sip from my drink which she accepted without much hesistation. But she found it strong ! After all water is heavier than Vodka ! Ditto with Rachita who had one for the road ! Am I evil or what ? All the ladies except Rishika bid adieu. We were then joined by Colonel Muthoo (Sandeep) and Mr. 10 minutes (Sid).

Soon we were joined by PK's two angels (from the Tasting Room) and hence PK got busy again. But Shishir had started feeling jealous now. So he went to them and took PK's case in front of them. So much for the Bachi-kuchi ijjat !

Towards the end Shishir was feeling 500 bucks too rich. So he decided to bet with PK. The bet: would Rishika know my name? The result: Rishika could only tell that my name started with V. So much for Hugo weaving's character ! A famous saying - Shishir and his money are soon parted!

From there at about 1.30 am we decided to head to Red Lights (a pub). It was closed. Then we went to Polyester. It was open but the cover charges were too exorbitant. So we decided to go to Bade Miyan ! We had all the Bade Miyan specials - the bhunas and the rolls.

Shishir to waiter: "Arre yaar ! Mujhe Bhaida roti khana hai. Lekin mujhe Bachhe paida karna hai toh roti mein Tel jyada mat dalna. Doctor ne bola hai !" (Wonder which fertility clinic he went to!)

Over the next hour we had awesome conversation to go with the awesome food. Shishir was frequently interupted by the waiter and asked not to be too loud as people in nearby buildings were sleeping. By 3.30am we were done and tired.

Its been a long but Galatically awesome night. Hopefully these are clear signs of things to come in the next one year !

P.s: The history of Smack D's blogs -

ISB MMX Awards

2009-03-11T09:13:00.005+05:30

Here is Smack D's Dean list ! Thanks to quite a few people for nominating some cool awards !

1. Most over abused term - "My two cents" (say that on campus to get yourself killed)

2. Most words typed per email - Vivek J (Hands down winner ! btw his hands would have to be down if he has to type)

3. Best performance in a satire / artistically challenged - Pankaj Poddar (Any surprises?)

4. Best performance in a leadership role / Most expensive emails - MRC (1 lakh to 1 crore)

5. Best Historian - Vijeth (Mumbai blogs)

6. Helen of Troy award - Yevheniya K, for being the name that launched a thousand emails. (Need I explain)

7. Ms. Question Bank - Tanya Rawal (One more question please)

8. Mr. 10 minutes - Siddharth Negandhi (Powai to Ghatkopar)

9. Nature's boy - Hardik Jhaveri (whom nature calls on his blackberry)

10. Designated Driver's conundrum - Shouvik Sarkar (for potraying a dog as his designated driver to a suspecting cop @ Mumbai 5.0)

11. Smoked Crusader - Tom (Kabhi defeat Kabhi Gum)

12. Versatility in Restlessness - Shishir (Youngnrestless, Restless Fish/Charmer/Netowrker)

13. Byomkesh Bakshi Award - Vivek Pandey (for finding the three reason behind crimes - land, money & women)

14. Karaoke (Singer) lover - Akshay Pai (The singer is always better than the song)

15. Diet Coke Keshto - Ashwin Uppal (for messing all up after two shots of Diet Coke)

16. Discount Ninja - Jay Shah (aka Jignesh who can get a discount on anything icluding something thats free)

17. Dev D award - Parag D (for his awesome performance on Mumbai 9.0)

18. Mr. & Mrs. Smith award - Neha-Aviral Chaturvedi (oh Yeah ! The barb wire, thanks to Diet Coke Keshto, was only temporary)

19. Best friend award - Sujata D (for bringing her friend-cum-Shishir basher along for Mumbai 9.0)

20. Relentless Traveller - Rachita (Done with India !)

21. Head of ISB secret service - Mamta Saini (The Lady called M)

22. The Google paradox award - Sreejita Deb (Google gaddar - Ah yes ! she uses FB more than orkut)

23. MRC's great ISB idea award - Aditya Kulkarni (For hedging his placement)

24. Shakespeare's muse - Ritu / Reetu (two spellings for the same name ! Shakespeare asks whats in a name, She says whats in the spelling of the name)

25. Successful marketing campaign - Chalo Chennai (for the huge number of underwhelming responses)

26. FODU Award - Father of Doc updates Nikhil (aka Narnikhil who spread chaos at Pagalguy)

27. The Truck stopping Show stopper - Rishi (late night adventurist on the Lonavala highway !)

28. Chaddi Buddy / Six pack award - Pallavi (for taking the pink chaddis to Ram Sene and for developing the six pack abs on her King Kong costume)

29. Mr. Addiction - Maninder Gulati (for his addiction - to tobacco @ ITC & female models @ Fiama Di wills)

30. Mr Negotiator - Krishna Kumar aka KK (Can I re-negotiate this award too?)

31. Colonel Weed - Sandeep (Army commando-cum-Weed farmer)

32. Childhood buddy - Shweta Divecha (for being Shishir's childhood buddy)

33. Ms. Muscles - Malavika (Damn ! I couldnt manage to dodge the Gym instructor again today !)

34. Mr. Underwater Cybershot - Arjun Guha (for his underwater pics)

35. Photographical Paradox - Nitin Vishwas (the Pro photographer who hardly clicks pictures at Mumbai meets)

36. Mr. Mean Streak - Saurabh Goyal (he does have a mean streak in him ! Doesnt he ?)

37. Hedge fund buddies - PK & Amit (who plan to prosper by investing in laughing stocks as well as liquid stocks)

38. The Karate Kid - Manish Acharya (for suddenly discovering that he knew Karate)

39. Ialive award - Nishant Banore (for still staying alive despite teasing the Karate kid)

40. Ms. Nimbu Pani award - Saroni Ghosh the teetotaller ( Jamegi mehfil jab mil baithenge aap, main aur Nimbu Paani)

41. Navjot Sidhu award - Shruti Narayan (who used her infectious laughter to make us laugh at all Shishir jokes)

42. Con man's paradise - Pruthviraj Haral (Yes he is the boy who fell to the wolf cries)

43. Homer Simpson award - Given to the Junta on Facebook who actually thought that these awards are gonna be given for real at Hyderabad. (Duh ?)

44. Delli-6 award - Rishika (the brain behind the Dell deal)

45. Mentor award - Raghav Wate (for being the first to accept me as his (tor)mentor !)

46. Bachha award - Ankur Vaish (aka Sodium for being the Bacche for UBI fellow)

47. Genda Phool award - Sweta (she loves her life too, a 25yr old, greedy, self-obsessed, competitive, ambitious, naughty one !)

48. Global ISBian - Vinit Garg (for having a blog with a global reach)

49. Khabri - Nitin Pulyani (for giving us the inside dope on ISB)

50. Destiny's child - Priyom Sarkar (for his accidents and achievements)

In case of any disputes, first take bath in ice-cold water & then shoot yourself in the butt !

Mumbai 9.5 - Enter the Waitlists !

2009-03-08T10:12:00.024+05:30

Mumbai 9.5 happened on Wednesday 4th March at Apna dhaba, Andheri. After the grand chaos of Mumbai 9.0 where a sizeable crowd had gathered, Mumbai 9.5 was borne out of the necessity to connect better - courtesy a smaller crowd. So around 6-7 people were expected but we finally had about 14 people (Half of whom were waitlist-to-admit junta). So the spirits were high !

The meet began on a rather shocking note ! Discovered a species I didnt believe existed ! Enter re-applicant-cum waitlist convert no. 1: Shruti Narayan ! Shruti had managed to do the unthinkable - she not only laughed at all of Shishir's jokes (Yup ! ALL of them) but understood them at first crack ! And her infectious laugh ensured the others laughed along with her as well. That left even Shishir shocked - something he thought was not possible in his lifetime.

We had in our midst a mystery women who would answer to the name M. You are most likely to spot her in Milan wearing Diesel branded clothes and being chased by Diesel salesman !

Her initial experience was good till the point the crowd mixed and she found herself sitting next to me. Food had just been served! Our conversation began as follows:

M: Anything vegetarian on the table?

Me: Yup ! 4 pcs of Nimbu and Pudina chatni !

She didnt know what hit her ! And she took a long time to recover. Hope I didnt put her off future meets !

Soon the discussion veered towards Laptops. At this point the man who answers to Gandhiji (and its derivatives) was at his best. Somebody asked him as to how one could gauge the speed of laptops ! To which he answered "You know its got a good speed if it can go from Powai to Ghatkopar in 10 mins".

Then the debate on the best possible laptop - I proposed the Napkin ! It saved your lap, was extremely light, came in different colours & foldable into smaller sizes but unfortunately other than Pruthvi (who is a salesman's paradise) I found no takers !

Sid is Shishir's bunny i.e. Shishir can pull Sid's legs in 12 different directions at the same time (depending on Vaastu) ! All evening we had moments that were full of that. At one point when they sat next to each other we had to clear the forks and knives from the table just in case Sid would attempt to kill Shishir.

We also had the Angel Broker Red riding hood Neha in our midst. She was most of the time caught in the cross fire between Shishir and Sid. Poor girl was so traumatized by the experience that she was thinking twice even before uttering a word lest she got engaged in a cross-fire !

Shishir's childhood buddy Shweta was there. Shishir says that she is responsible for all his childhood's memories (and we all know that Shishir had a very disturbing childhood) !

Our Colonel Weed (Sandeep) was mostly busy plotting the next coup along with his deputy Vikram. He had arranged for the funding from M**hoot Finance for his deadly mission.

We were joined in very late by Shishir's biggest admirer PK - for whom Shishir is nothing less than a magnet ! Wherever Shishir is present he follows - both in real world as well as the world wide web ! He was seen restlessly roaming around Apna Dhaba when Sid sat next to Shishir ! He would have almost wanted to kill Sid ! He and Amit quicky swooped on the group with the hedge fund idea ! And they found takers ! They invested my money in the laughing stocks ! I could now see their future:

Amit's enthusiasm was understandable given his exposure to childhood failytales.

We also had Maninder Gulati in our midst who was webcasting our meet on the net ! He told us about his years at ITC where he started out in the tobacco division but had to shift after he got addicted to it. Then he was enjoying at Product development for Fiama Di Wills where he would test the products on female models - a very much hands-on approach. Unfortunately fearing a s**ual harassment case he fled to where he was today !

We also had the 2nd Parag (Panjwani) in the group who was almost on a maun vrat ! He reminded me of a Blockbuster Kannada movie called "Tirupati" whose tagline was "When God is silent, he is violent" ! True to his name he uttered only Paanch Vaani during the entire evening. A quick message from our sponsorers -

The meet was a lot of fun with jokes and puns flying all over !

For all the guys/gals of other cities, the secret behind the successful Mumbai meets:

Try it and see the difference !

Mumbai 9.0 - When R1 met R2 !

2009-02-22T18:20:00.015+05:30

Mumbai 9.0 was destined to be different from the others in the fact that we would have both R1 and R2 junta partying together. Also since winter is almost over quite a few R1 public woke up from their hibernation. So an overwhelming number of junta were gonna be there this time.

Deciding the venue was tricky and opinions varied on choice of venue. But in R2 we had the batch's 'poster-boy' Hardik who wooed the public opinion in favour of Sportz Bar at Phoenix Mills.

So it was Sportz Bar on 21st Feb at 6.30pm. About 28 people had confirmed.

Quite a few of us were there well before time so ensure we got seats before the weekend crowd got in. In no time quite a sizeable crowd had poured in. A few were running late (by about 40 minutes ... eggxact !!) while the others preferred to walk slow.

Our Restless fish had always wished for a representative gender ratio in the meets and today he got exactly that. But the space constraint meant we sat on two tables and mixing didnt happen. So we started playing musical chairs to mix and match. We had a lot of introductions but not all of them were as smooth as desired.

Fresh from the onslaught of Dev D a couple of sundays back, Parag barged in rather late but pretty much ready to model his evening to be Parag D. (Yes ! He got sloshed, emotional and puky). In fact he puked so much that the traffic police has now put up a new sign on the narrow road in front of Sportz Bar.

We had a special appearance by the relentless traveller Rachita Paes (not Pace) who finally decided to tour Mumbai after being done with other parts of India. By the way I had last seen her in Rajasthan next to a camel.

The meet was pretty much chaotic in the sense that there was action everywhere. I missed quite a bit of it because I too busy concentrating on the Pop Corn on my table. But it can be summed up by the following questions which made up for 75% of the conversations mainly:

1. "I am sorry, what was your name?"

2. "Oh sorry, I think I am asking you this for the third time."

3. "Are you from R1 or R2?"

because of the fairly large number of new people you had met.

I met quite a few stand-out junta. But the 3 people who need special mention:

There was this "random" guy whose name I am withelding upon request (read bribe). He is such a people-oriented chap that he has "U" in his name and not the selfish "I". That too inspite of staying in Powa"I" in Mumba"I" and working for Delo"I"tte.
Then we had an ex-Army commando who if I reveal on the blog will make me the 11th casualty on his 'laid to rest' list assuming nobody else gets lucky. By the way he informed that he was primarily a 'farmer' into 'weeds' and by depositing the money in a famed finance institution in Kerala he got lot of interest (13%) which helped him double his savings. He's gonna be the Captain 'G' on campus. And he got an enormous kick because the drink was served to him by 'Ialive' Nishant.
We had Sid who is not just any-Gandhi but Ne-gandhi. He is a CA at PWC and is rumoured to have leaked the Oscar winner's list by signing his name below. He was seen doing two things passionately - defending PWC & challenging that Ghatkopar was 10 mins away from Powai.

Later in the night we were joined by the 'barb-wired' couple Aviral & Neha, so our Parag D let loose a barrel of emosonal atyachar on them. By then the evening had been set-up nicely for a passionate outburst by all people drunk and senseless. It involved talks of life, emotions and politics. For the mintues of meeting please contact our poster boy 'Hardik'.

By the time things were done and dusted it was over 1am. A idea floated that we go some place to eat after all the booze but figured that it was better to split for the night since most of us were out of cash while Hardik was out of chances (he was already pulled up by his mom on thursday for turning up hic ... hic at 4am in the morning).

All in all a Saturday well spent. Guess the next one is gonna be even more rocking since the 75% contributor (ref questions 1 to 3 above) will be out of the equation. Also we have our consultant Akansha using her skills to tell us how we can cut costs involved in the meet. Till then this is Smack D signing off !

Smack D's memory test of the day: How many names and faces can you recollect correctly?

Next meet: A special quiz on who's who !

"To Make New Friends!"

2009-02-20T16:08:00.004+05:30

These are exciting times!

Exciting, especially, for those of us who have decided to quit our well paying, comfortable jobs to pursue an MBA now.

There are many reasons to do an MBA. I have many, but one of the more important reasons I decided I wanted to do an MBA is because I wanted to make new friends. New friends from backgrounds other that my own and get to know them, their work, their passions, aspirations and ambitions. I kid you not - This is what I said at the ISB interview when they asked me why I wanted to to go to ISB: "To Make New Friends!"

It was a few years ago that I noticed that my friends circle was very homogeneous. At the school I went to, all the kids came from modest middle class homes, aspiring to be engineers and doctors. Then I joined an engineering college to study computer science, and everyone was just as smart as me, interested in the exact same things as me and wanted to work in the exact same fields as me. After college, at work, everyone seemed to have the same plan for life - Work in software for a few years, then do a startup and become rich. I started to venture out of my circle a little bit and tried to make some new friends, but most people I met were again like me - Engineers interested in either photography, wildlife or both.

In the meantime, I heard of ISB and its huge focus on diversity. They claimed that they admitted students from all walks of life, and that the students could learn so much from each other. I thought how great it'd be to meet all these folks - People who've worked on offshore oil rigs and investment bankers, scientists and army men, lawyers and RJs. I got all excited! It would be so much fun to work and learn with such a diverse set of people and get to know them better. I was game!

A few months later, I was ecstatic when I learned ISB had admitted me to the class of 2010. This was going to be so much fun! Right after the R2 results were announced, the admits from Bangalore got together for dinner to get to know each other before the course actually started. As I was driving to the dinner, I was skeptical of who I'd meet. This is Bangalore after all - The land full of software engineers interested in either photography, wildlife or both.

But I was not disappointed. I met a race track owner, a corporate lawyer, a scientist who models hair shampoo and another guy that makes chewing gums. In fact, I met this person at the dinner who said he did something, and I couldn't understand what that meant, so I asked him "What does that mean?". He explained it in detail, and I still couldn't understand! This has never happened to me before. At that point, I decided I was definitely going to go to ISB. I was going to meet many many more people doing many many interesting things.

I'm all excited and pumped up for April 11th! Imagine the kind of folks I'll met at ISB and get to know them and their unique perspective on life. What fun!

- Aditya Kulkarni

The Second Wave

2009-02-19T19:10:00.002+05:30

Guess this is the first of (hopefully) many posts by R2 admits on the blog of the class of 2010. Before we all get to migrate and unleash our arbitness on the official weblog, that is.

There are many reasons why people have chosen to apply in one of the two rounds, and the single most important factor for me to submit my application on December 1st 2008 instead of September 15th 2008 was because I was too lazy.

Yes. Too lazy. And forgetful.

I know for sure that a few of you would identify with this particular condition, which is what, in my case, prompted me to take up the GMAT late in October and then get essays, evaluations and my entire application in place by the last week of November.

The memories of sitting up late at night trying to trim / re-word / sometimes overhaul essays to incorporate maximum fundas in them shall now be fondly relegated to that section of my mind I've labelled as 'nostalgia'.

So will the memories of an interview where I walked into the main atrium of MY new campus, clad in a suit for the first ever time in my life with an official-looking folder in one hand and a banana in the other, which is why I wasn't able to shake hands with the ad com volunteer who handed me the sheet in which to write the 100 word essay in.

Fondly recollected is also the memory of standing at the second floor of the Forum Mall with a good pal (an R1 admit), after my GMAT, being drunk on a meagre quantity of alcohol in a way that only expensive restaurants would prompt you to, hoping we'd soon be in Hyderabad. The city had to be made awesomer, and it needed us to be there.

Random fond memories and anecdotes notwithstanding, the R2 admits have been watching, waiting, and for the most part hoping that they'd get to be part of the online action soon, and those days seem to have finally arrived.

While the time available between the admission offer being made to an R2 candidate, and the day of joining ISB is quite short, the R1 admits (who've vaguely achieved college senior status) have been incredibly helpful in ensuring that our teething troubles with regard to accommodation, loans, laptops and other miscellaneous stuff are being adequately addressed.

Here's to R2 admits making the most of the available corporate internet bandwidth, and serving the notice period in a highly 'productive' manner.

L'chaim!

ISB R1 Awards

2009-02-18T22:55:00.003+05:30

Now that the R2 admits have started streaming in its time to announce the Smack D R1 awards:

1. The over-abused term: "My two cents" (its beginning to get on the nerves of most people)

2. Most words typed per mail: Vivek - the hands down winner (btw hands would have to be down in order to type)

3. Maxim zeal for uploaded files: Tom (just keeps 'em coming)

4. Artistically challenged: Pankaj Poddar (for his controversial and universally accepted logo)

5. Successful Marketing campaign: Chalo Chennai (with the huge number of underwhelming responses)

6. FODU (Father of Doc Updates) - Nikhil (aka Narnikhil)

7. Versatility: Restless Charmer / Restless Fish (and btw now restless is a official four letter word for him)

8. Shakesphere's muse: The bee in the bonnet (who says "My name is a name is a name" and has different 'official' spellings for the same name. Shakesphere once asked "whats in a name?". Her reply "Whats in the spelling of the name?")

9. Discount Ninja: Jiggy aka Jignesh Shah (who can bargain a discount on anything including something thats free !!)

10. Diet coke Keshto: Ashwin (for messing up directions to the restaurant after two shots of Diet coke)

11. The truck stopping show-stopper: Rishi Dogra (Late night adventurist on the Lonavala highway)

12. The Chaddi buddy: Pallavi aka PJ (for taking the Pink chaddi campaign to the Ram Sene)

13. Byomkesh Bakshi: Vivek Pandey (for finding the three reasons behind crimes)

14. Relentless traveller: Rachita (done with India !)

15. Ms. Youtube: Sreejita (who is googling away the oglers !)

16. Most expensive mails: MRC (for promised sum of Rs. 1 lakh for the best B-plan which could go upto 1 crore)

There were more but I just ran out of awards !

ISB now ranked 15th

2009-01-26T17:01:00.003+05:30

Amidst the gloom and FUD comes the rocking news that ISB has made it to the 15th rank in FT's global b-school rankings. There have been numerous critics and doubters of this achievement by an Indian b-school and the debate may have its merits eitherways. But for the current and prospective students this is an excellent news as it underscores brand ISB on the global business landscape in a big way.Not sure of the exact date on which these rankings were actually released but for me they are a most sweet Republic Day gift.

How ISB Co2010 can revive the economy !

2009-01-26T00:33:00.008+05:30

Of late I have seen a lot of debate on Y! groups on how we can revive the economy. One thing we all agree upon is that each one of us has to contribute in some way or the other to revive the economy. So here is Smack D's prescription on how my fellow classmates can 'contribute':

1. Each one gift one: The best way to kickstart any economy is to target 'internal consumption'. (Source: MRC / New article on ISB site thread). So I suggest that all you guys buy me something on your way to ISB. Remember the better the investment you make for my gift, the bigger the stimulus the economy gets. Let me take two cases to explain: Mr. A buys me a Eclairs candy and Mr. B buys me a Porsche. Now how much of value can Mr. A add to the economy - not very significant !

While Mr. B adds a lot. One he buys me a expensive car. I invest on the fuel, tyres and maintenance. Oil companies and the retailers earn from the fuel. They are going to invest this money somewhere and grow it. More money means more spending power. More spending means the currency flow in the market is better. Economy gains !!

2. Bring on the ladies: Its a well known fact that in India men spend more on women than anybody else because they are more chivalrous than their western counterparts. So somebody please write a mail to Mr. Menon asking him to take as many women as possible in R2 for economy's sake (not for the safety in numbers that our restless charmer advocates for) ! Also the higher the number of women graduating from ISB the better for economy coz' women love shopping. I am sure most of the pay would go towards shopping and more shopping ! Economy gains again !!

3. Show me the money: Bank balances look good but they do no good to the economy. So after you have spent enough on women and my gifts I suggest that you hand over all your money and life savings to me, so that I can splurge and try my level best to boost the economy !

Any more suggestions are surely welcome.

Mumbai 6.0 - Chati ka Wine

2009-01-21T21:35:00.026+05:30

Prologue: Mumbai 6.0 (Chati ka Wine) happened on 20th (Tuesday). I am no longer gonna call them meet-ups as they have ceased to be just that ! And like how wine gets better with age they seem to be getting better and better each time we hang out together !

Mumbai 6.0 started at Woodside Inn, Colaba. I happened to reach there pretty early. Nobody had turned up and going by the resposne I saw on Y! Groups I didnt expect many to turn up either. What I knew of sure was our Restless buddy was definitely gonna be there - come hell or high water. Called him and found out that he was gonna take atleast another half'n hour or so to reach. So went inside and sat at a table for 6 people. But sitting alone at a table for 6 was gonna be socially tricky. But thankfully I knew the way out !

After about a Iced Tea and a plate of mashed potatoes later Ashwin arrived. He had a flight to catch at 7am so he had made up his mind to leave by 9 - 9.30 pm. Mumbai's lifeline Shishir soon joined us and thus we were truly on our way in the evening. Soon we had our newcomer for the evening Ayush joining us. His intro was followed by a conversation between him and Shishir which went on as follows:

Soon Jay was kind enough to join us and give us a candid hour-by-hour breakup on how he spent his day at work which included lots of pretending to work followed by real sessions of Counter strikes !! Earlier that day Jay was having a hard time telling his boss that he was resigning !

Soon Sreejita joined us. And which is when the wine started flowing by the bottle (which had come with a interesting label).

Meanwhile some place else, Shouvik and Parag met up to come to Woodside Inn together. To kickstart a conversation which had nothing to do how the day went, Shouvik showed a few cool stuff on his bike.

During our conversation Sreejita was her usual charming self. To counter her we had the restless charmer. And boy did he do an awesome job ! Sreejita was overwhelmed at the end of the day and kneeled with her "juicy" hands to the king in gratitude as "she couldnt even get there" !

The bottles of wine seemed never-ending ! But since we had decided to move to a pub to do some more rocking stuff the wine marathon had to finally end.

While all this was happening it was rumoured that Niraj who was in Film City, Goregaon was busy with ....

(Anybody guess ki Niraj ne kaunsa seat liya !)

We then moved to Tavern where Niraj joined us. There were about 3 rounds of Tequila shots followed by what were the "moments" of the evening when all of us started swinging n head-bangin to the cool rock music that was being played at Tavern. Then spontaneously we formed a train and choo-chooed our way around the entire pub. We were like long lost buddies making the best of every moment we had that evening. We were there till the pub realized that the only way to evict us was to close down. But we were not done yet !

We then moved to get a awesome sea-side view at Malabar road. But our time there was short as the cops thought that we were nothing more than a couple of drunk kids with a ladiez. Seeing that we were with cars the cops wanted to carry out a breath analyzer test. Since the car belonged to Jay, he had to take the test. And he passed !! But he didnt stop there ....

Soon we headed to a Bistro as some of us were hungry. But we met with some strong opposition from Shishir who wanted the "three things" ! Shouvik managed to find a place that met his requirements ! But there was always a catch .....

So naturally Shishir backed out !

Then we got back to our original plan of going to a bistro. There we had dessert first (Roshogulla, Phirni, chocolate cakes etc etc) and then had some chicken and paneer !! during all this Sreejita was busy fidgeting with her Blackberry & Shishir was not happy about that ... so he let her know that the mobile phone can be switched off and kept in the bag without any major catastrophe happening to it ! But Sreejita had a spiritual answer to it ....

By 4am the wine (and in case of Ashwin the diet coke) started kicking in and we remembered that we had go to work next day morning while Ashwin had to catch a flight! Poor dude wanted to leave by 9.30 pm ... but ended up going at 4 am !! Ironically he couldn't sleep well in the plane later and he found a able companion with a similar ailment ....

Fun can be so addictive ! All in all it was a night well spent and one that kept getting better by the minute !

Epilogue: There were lot more funny / grouse details that I left out deliberately coz' the post is getting very lengthy! ISB Mumbai truly rocks !!

Paanch numberi meet up @ Mumbai

2009-01-14T08:22:00.013+05:30

Mumbai meet up (no. 5) happened at "Not Just Jazz by the bay". There were a few new faces like Ashwin & Niraj. There was a awesome buffet laid out that afternoon but handling it was tricky. But being smart ISBians we had a solution to it.

By the time lunch was done Parag joined us. It is when we decided to have the legendary one-line intro session. Parag had a relatively tough time explaining it.

Aviral was having it relatively easy with the intro before "tragedy" struck, the consequence of which Neha made him pay later in the night.

Meanwhile it was almost 3pm and Shouvik had still had not shown up. Meanwhile on the other end of the town Shouvik was racing against time to reach the place as soon as possible.

By the time Shouvik made it, it was time to split. Most of them left except for the 6 of us (Shishir, Parag, Shouvik, Jay, Ashwin & me) who decided it was too early to call it a day. So we headed to Leopold's Cafe and a few of us drank like a fish. Our discussion was on "diverse" topics which included the probable size of the pool (that we were gonna get dunked in the future), a few individuals who were gonna be with us at ISB etc. With all that booze people were in the mood to get naughty. Unfortunately for Mr. XXXXX, he happened to message Shishir at that time. We decided to play a small prank on him pretending to be sloshed. Though Ashwin had not gulped even a drop of booze that day he acted like a professional drunkard on the phone with Mr. XXXXXX. I hope the poor dude didnt freak out or get offended.

By 7.30 pm we decided we had enough of booze for the day but we were not done with having a wonderful time. We decided to take it one step higher to Marine Drive. There we had coffee and chips and talked more and more. Jay tried real hard to get a discount on the coffee + chips combo but ultimately was kept at bay.

By 9pm we thought of catching a bite and then heading home. We decided on Apoorva. Except Shouvik and Ashwin nobody knew the direction to Apoorva. I tagged along with Shouvik on the latter's bike and reached Apoorva in 5 minutes. Then we waited .. waited .. and waited !

Meanwhile .....

Finally Ashwin managed to bring them to Apoorva. Then a few of us ordered something to eat. Shishir was too full (and tull) to eat anything so he wanted some Lime soda. So the waiter asked him "Sir, you want your lime soda sweet or salty?" to which Shishir answered "Medium!". I cant explain the look on the waiter's face at that exact moment. But he was in store for more when Parag asked him to bring a "Sweet lime soda salted".

Jay wanted some more booze but didnt get what he wanted to. So tried to discount whatever he was getting. He didnt get that either !

After that finally at 10.30 pm we split for the day to call it a night. But the fun didnt end there !

Shishir reached home and his mom opened the door. The conversation was something like this:

Meanwhile after Shouvik dropped me at the Andheri flyover he saw a cop at the next turn. So he came up with a innovative idea to beat the cop and reach home without a fine.

All in all, it was a day well spent. Each minute was getting better than the previous minute. Cant wait for the next one !

It just got worse !!

2009-01-07T14:26:00.002+05:30

The class of 2010 seems to be hitting the tipping point in terms of its timing. Credit Crunch, Madoff and now the unbelievable Satyam fiasco puts all of us in an extremely delicate situation. There are no easy answers to questions like Why MBA? and Why Now? for our batch. More importantly, one also has to look for answers to Where do you see yoursef X years from now?. I think this is a time to stop following patterns and do some real soul-searching and original thinking. We will all have a lot to sort out when we get together in April. And I believe the world will have its eyes set upon the paths all of us take when we pass out from ISB.
Thoughts ?